Bella Without
by JoonBug
Summary: Rating has been adjusted to M to reflect Mature content Edward has left Bella in the woods...she wont promise him anything...he no longer has the right to ask anything from her...How does she continue to exist without her one true love...can she exist?
1. Chapter 1

"Edward, you can't really mean this. You can't just decide what's you think is best for me. I need you Edward. I love you with all of my heart!" I was crying now

"You were a distraction for me…. your not good for me Bella." He said coolly

"Where is this coming from? If this is about what happened at the party…"

"Bella, I don't want you! Can't you understand that?"

"No…this isn't happening. This can't be happening!" I murmured softly

"I'm leaving Bella, but before I go, please promise me you wont do anything reckless or stupid."

I didn't answer him…I just stared blankly at him.

"Promise me Bella," he said in his velvety voice

"No Edward! I can't promise you anything. You have no right to ask me to do anything for you!" I turned to walk away into the forest…he grabbed my arm

"Bella…. where are going?"

"Please just let me go!" I cried "Edward…I hurt…my heart hurt too much!"

"Bella?"

I turned to face him…I wanted him to see my pain "I've given you my heart Edward, and you've crushed it. How am I supposed to feel? My heart is breaking…"

"Just promise me you wont do anything reckless…please Bella!" a worried look crossed his face

"That's a promise…I don't think I can keep Edward. I love you Edward. Nothing will change how I feel about you."

"I better go…my family is waiting for me." He said

"Edward…If you ever think of me…say…100 years from now…remember that once…long ago… I loved you with all of my heart…That I wanted to spend forever with you…I wanted to love you always…but I guess love just wasn't enough for you…I just wasn't good enough to spend forever with…for anyone to love…" I turned walking off into the woods.

I walked for miles…or what seemed like miles…I sat down on a rock and cried. How was I to go on…how was I going to survive…Edward had been my life…my love…now I was empty…I closed my eyes ad drifted off to sleep….

"Bella? Bella can you hear me?" It was Charlie's voice…my eyes fluttered open…and I saw his worried face…"Oh thank god! Your safe now honey…thank god Jake found you!"

"Dad…I'm fine. Please don't cry…I'm fine…I'll be fine"

"How is she Charlie?" someone asked from the hallway

"She'll be fine Jacob…she's awake now. Thank you so much for bringing her home!"

"Jacob?" I croaked

"Yes Bella? How are you feeling?"

"I'll be okay…How did you fine me?"

"I was out hiking in the woods… you were asleep on a rock…I tired to wake you up…but you wouldn't…I knew where you lived…I figured you were lost…so I brought you home."

I noticed he was holding my hand…"Thank you Jacob…I was lost…you saved me." I tried to smile at him…he smiled back…

"Do you mind if I come check on you tomorrow…see how you are?"

"That would be fine…"

"Get some rest…I'll see you soon!"

I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep…replaying the events of the previous day in my mind. He was gone…he didn't love me…I was only a distraction…that about summed it up.

The next morning Jacob kept his promise…he came to visit me…and the next day…. and the next…

Time passed and we were inseparable…Jacob had picked up my pieces…I was almost whole…thanks to Jake! The last night before he left he promised me that we would be doing something special today…and I couldn't wait. Jacob held a special place in my heart…he was my best friend…and I loved him.

I was in the bathroom when I heard the doorbell ring…Charlie must have answered it. I was just getting out of the shower…I brushed thru my hair and pulled it with a couple of clips…I put my robe on and crossed into my room…

Jacob was on my bed and he startled me as I came in and fell to the floor…"God Jake you scared me!" He came over and picked me up…

"Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you! Charlie told me to come up…sorry."

"It's okay…I'll just be a minute…" I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a bra and panties. I felt hot breath behind me as Jake pulled my robe off of my shoulder and kissed my neck….

"Cut it out Jake! Charlie is down stairs!"

"But you feel so good Bella! I just can't resist!"

"Well try! Out…out…!" I pushed him out the door so I could get dressed.

I was downstairs in less that 5 minutes and he was sitting in the kitchen

"You can't blame me for trying!"

"No. I guess I can't!" I bent over to kiss his cheek. He moved slightly…and I was kissing his lips…He felt so warm and soft…I put my arms around his neck pulling him in deeper and he responded. Our tongues entwined in a dance… it felt like electricity passing between us. I pulled away quickly…but he looked intently to my face…"Wow Bella…that was amazing!"

I couldn't respond…it was amazing…but was it enough.

"So Jake…what are we doing today?"

"Oh…it's a surprise…I'm going to need to blindfold you!"

"You're going to what…?"

"Trust me Bell…you'll love it!"

"Okay! Lets do it!"

Jake helped me into the truck…and we were off. I of course had no idea where we where going…it was a complete mystery!

The truck suddenly stopped…and Jake was out and helping me out…I tried to use my other senses to determine where we were, this place smelled kind of funny…sort of farm like…

He took my hand and placed it on something warm and hairy…"Is this what I think it is?"

"What do you think it is Bella?"

"If we are going horse back ridding then I am the happiest girl in the world!"

Jake removed the blindfold and in front of me was the most beautiful horse I had ever seen…it was a solid black horse…I turned to Jake and hugged him so tightly…I took his face in my hands and kissed him with everything I had…

"If I had know I'd get this kind of reaction I would have brought you here long ago!" he chuckled

We walked the horses to the meadow…and Jake helped me mount my horse…it's name was Coal…because of its color…sometimes people just weren't original with name!

Jake was on Lucy…and we trotted into the meadow. "So…lets see what this horse is made of!" Jake teased as he took off at a gallop …I quickly followed catching up with him…we went over a few jumps... this was fantastic…I hadn't done this in so long! The fresh air in my lungs…today…it felt good to be alive…but I felt like that everyday with Jake by my side!

I turned to the trail in the woods and started down it. Coal hesitated a bit but I pushed him forward…I turned to see if Jake was behind me…but he was still out in the meadow…I pushed forward and increased our pace…I heard a velvety voice call out to me…."Bella!" I looked around but saw no one…I heard it again but this time…I saw him…standing next to a tree…he stepped out frightening the horse…Coal reared up…kicking the air…I screamed as the horse took off fast…running into the forest…

I heard Edward calling out for me…then I heard Jacob…he was trying to follow…I tried to calm the animal but it was no use…he was too frightened…I looked behind me to see Edward in pursuit…I saw his face wrinkle in agony…then I felt why.

I was knocked off the horse by a low hanging branch…falling to the ground…I rolled down an embankment and hit my head on a rock…I could hear Edward at my side…crying out my name…Jacob telling him to get his leech hands off of me…informing him that I was his and he had no right to touch me.

I slowly opened my eyes…."Jake? What happened?"

"Your horse was frightened…he took off and you fell off. Do you remember?"

"Yes…Jake…my head hurt real bad…"

"You have a large cut…probably a concussion we need to get you to the hospital."

"I thought I saw Edward…it was really strange. "

"Bella, I'm here…" I must be imagining it…it sounded like Edward

I pulled myself up with my right hand…I cringed when I moved the left…it was broken…I was sure of it…after all I did land on it…I looked to see Edward and Jacob staring each other down…growling…. great just great I thought.

I took my shirt off; I had a tank on underneath. I cried in pain and I tried to tie the arms of the shirt together…the cry caught their attention

"Oh Bella! What are you doing? Why did you take your shirt off?" Edward asked

Jake reached out taking my shirt from me…the tied the ends together with ease… and handed it back…

I slipped it over my head to secure my arm…and walked away from all of the testosterone filled anger…

"Bella…please love…why wont you answer me?" Edward was at my side

"Jake…where did Coal go…did you see?"

"He's over there…grazing…" 

"Thank you Jake…' and with that I walked over to my horse…leaving Edward on the trail.

I tried to mount my horse with my injured arm…I was having problems. Jake came up behind me…and pulled me to him.

"Are you okay Bella?" kissing the top of my head

"I'll be fine…I just am feeling really sleepy…we need to get back...Please help me up."

"Sure Sure! Not a problem Bella" as he pushed me up into the saddle.

I looked over to Edward…his eyes filled with concern and confusion…Jake had gotten back on his horse…and I pushed Coal into action…braking into a run past Edward and Jacob…. out into the meadow

I was in pain…both physical and emotional what the hell was he doing back here…maybe he didn't hurt me enough last time…I needed to be alone…I needed to think…but I realized I wasn't alone…I had Jake…when we got back to the truck he pulled me off the horse holing me in his arms... tightly to his chest…I looked back toward the meadow seeing Edward at the tree line…Jacob kissed my lips…as he took me to the truck…I'm sure Edward saw that…I had moved on like he wanted…I was going to have a normal life…like he wanted…But if that was what he truly wanted…why was he back….?


	2. Chapter 2

Bella…how are you?" Jake asked me

"I'll be fine…let's just get to the hospital and get this over with."

"Are you okay…seeing him again?"

"Jake…I'm fine. I've moved on…I have a wonderful life…great boyfriend…everything is perfect!"

"Glad to hear it!" he chuckled as he put his arm around me

We arrived at the hospital and we were put in a room…I guess I shouldn't have been surprised to see Dr Carlisle Cullen come round the curtain…he was looking at a chart…"what seems to be the trouble…Bella? What …are you…what's happened?" He looked at my arm…

"I've hurt my arm courtesy of your son…would it be possible to see another doctor. It's nothing personal Carlisle…I just don't really feel comfortable…since…well you know…"

"Bella…what do you mean? Why wouldn't you feel comfortable…have I ever done anything-"?

"No Carlisle…I just think it would be best since your entire family left me…that I keep my distance…I'm sorry…"

"I'll…try to get someone else for you Bella…I'm sorry…I …" he walked out of the room

"Bella…you know you didn't have to do that…if you where trying to spare my feelings…"

"Jake…not only did Edward leave…but his whole family did…I thought they cared for me…but that must have been a lie…just like everything else…I never heard from Alice…and we were friends…or so I thought…"

"Bells…you are such an incredible person. I love you so much!" He leaned over to kiss the top of my head.

Carlisle came back in…"Bella, would you mind if I talk with you?"

"It's okay Bella…I'll just wait outside…"

"Okay…well I guess you should take a look at my arm while you're at it then." I teased

He reached out removing my impromptu sling…I cringed with the pain…

"Bella…why did you not want me to help you…I really don't understand…I would like for you to explain please."

"I'm sure Edward told you how he felt about me…how I was just a distraction…how it was all just fun…nothing serious…how he didn't want me…didn't love me…he left me alone…you all did!"

"Bella, this has to be a mistake…he loves you…we all know that!"

"Well then I guess he's lied to all of you too. Carlisle…please…I'm just trying to live my life without him…I'm getting pretty good at it actually…. at least I was until he showed up out of nowhere and freighted my horse!"

"You saw Edward today?"

"Yes Carlisle…as I said he frightened the horse I was riding…ergo the injured arm!"

"Well, your arm is broken…I'm going to put an air splint on it…so you'll have better movement that a traditional cast…you will however need to keep it immobilized for several days…"

"Thank you Carlisle…and again I'm sorry for how I acted before…I just wasn't expecting…to see…you again…"

"I know Bella…and I'm sorry for the pain we must have caused you…I'm sure Alice would like to see you…would you mind if I have her call on you sometime?"

"That would be fine…I do miss her…I've missed all of you…even Rosalie!"

"Well that's saying something then!" he laughed softly

Soon I was practically good as new! Jake got me home just in time for Charlie to pull up and see my newest acquisition…"Um…Bella what happened to your arm?"

"I fell off a horse today day…it's nothing just a broken arm" I tried to sound unconcerned with my pain

"Just a broken arm! Jake, what ever made you think of taking her riding?"

"I thought she'd like it Charlie. Everything was going fine…until…well the horse got spooked!"

"Well, I better go Jake…thank you for the great day…I loved it. We'll have to do it again sometime!" I reached up to kiss him goodbye…

"Hey kids. That's enough of that!"

"Sorry Charlie…she's just too darn irresistible!" Jake teased

I went into the house, and went directly to my room…right into the arms of the waiting vampire….


	3. Chapter 3

When I entered my room, Edward grabbed me up in his arms and held me to him.

I tried to free myself from his grasp, but with an injured arm, and the fact that he was vampire strong, it was a futile action.

"Get the hell off of me Edward!" I said forceful yet not too loud. I didn't want Charlie coming in here to see this

"Bella. I need to talk with you. You need to understand how I feel about you."

"You were crystal on that subject Edward, and I have moved on with my life. A life that you are no longer a part of."

"Please. What can I say? What can I do to make you understand-?"

"There is nothing you can ever do. You broke me Edward. The pieces have been gathered and assembled by someone who truly loves me. Someone who really cares, now if you'll please leave, I need to get changed." I looked for him to go, but he just stared.

"I thought you would understand why I left, I thought if I could just explain, you would still love me."

I looked at him, the sadness in his eyes. I felt love for him. I couldn't deny that. Somewhere deep in my heart, he still existed. But I couldn't feel it for him. He left me. He hadn't loved me enough.

If he now regretted leaving, that was his own problem. Not mine. I begged him not to go, and my pleading fell of deaf ears. He was no longer my life, he had seen to that. Jake was my future; Jake held the place Edward would now have to covet from afar.

"Edward, my life continued without you. When you left I had two choices. The first option was to pull it all together and live for myself, for my family, for my future. Or option two, pull the trigger, needless to say I chose option one."

"You had a third option, you could have waited. Held on to our love and waited for me to return to you."

"You truly are selfish! You said you were, put until now I never believed it to be true. Let me get this straight. You're telling me I should have waited for the love of my life to whom I was only a diversion, who by the way left with no promise of return. I was to wait for you to return to me? What in like 50 years? After I had wasted my life, alone. Given up my own chance for happiness, a family of my own. So what, when I was 70, I could pretend to be your grandmother!" I had ranted on, and he didn't stop me. "Get out Edward. NOW!"

"Bella. Please calm down. I'm here now, and we can be together. I love you!"

I turned to leave; I couldn't keep going in circles. He was beginning to confuse me.

"What can I do to prove my love for you? Just name it. I'll do anything! I never stopped loving you."

"Your words broke my heart Edward. Saying you love me doesn't make everything okay. It doesn't make all of the hateful would disappear." I was crying now

"But you love me. I know you do." He insisted

"Edward, love is no longer enough."

"What would be enough Bella? What can I do to show you how much I need you?"

"Edward. Dear Edward." I fell to my knees "If you love me like to say. Please, just let me go."

"Bella, I can't do that. I will never let you go."

I heard a knock at my door, and when I looked up he had gone. I wiped the moisture from my eyes and opened the door. "Bella? Are you all right? I thought I heard you talking to someone." Charlie asked

"I was on the phone, sorry if I disturbed you. Hey, you hungry?"

'Yea, I was just going to order pizza. On account of your arm if that's okay with you kid."

"That would be great dad. Thanks!"

I went into the bathroom to at least wash my face, and get changed up. I had a bit of trouble, but I managed to get it all done in time for dinner.

"Hey Charlie, would you mind if I drove over to Jake's tonight?"

"I'm not sure about you driving with that arm of yours."

'I'll be fine dad. I can drive. I still have one good arm!" And as if to demonstrate that I waved it around frantically and Charlie chuckled at my crazy attempt at humor.

'Okay Bells, Just take it easy."

I called Jake to make sure it would be okay if I came over. Billy answered and said Jake was out, but should be back soon. He told me to just come on over, Jake could be pleasantly surprised.

I got in my truck, and proceeded down the road to La Push. As I drove I had a strange feeling like I was being followed, but I knew I had to be imagining it. Why would anyone follow me? There was no reason that I could think of. The car seemed to be getting closer and every time I slowed down to allow the car to pass it wouldn't. I pulled off to the side of the road expecting to be passed. But the car pulled in behind me.

I locked my doors, and as I saw the driver getting out I stepped on the gas and took off as fast as my poor truck would go. In the rear view mirror I was the driver scramble to get back in fast and take off after me.

Then as I drove towards the Reservation, the car turned around. It had been Edward following me. I saw the familiar face, and knew he couldn't come any further.

As I pulled up to Jake's house, he ran out to great me. He scooped me up into his arms and kissed me softly on the mouth. "Can't get enough of me today?"

"I can never get enough of you!" I kissed him deeper more ardently than I ever had before.


	4. Chapter 4

"Wow Bella! You took by breath away with that one."

With that I just giggle. " Hey Jake, can we go for a walk on the beach?"

"Your wish is my command!" he said bowing

I slugged him in the shoulder "Cut it out Jake." And smiled up at him

We walked hand and hand along the beach, which was good because without his support I would have fallen multiple times.

"Jake. I need to tell you something." And with those words he stopped dead and turned to face me. He had a 'get it over quick' look about him

"What do you need to tell me?" he looked concerned

"I just don't want you to be angry with me. Okay?" and with that he was tensing up

"Are you breaking up with me? Now that the leech is back?" he spat the words out with distain

"No, oh god no Jake! Please don't' think-" I was cut off for lack of breath, he was squeezing me so tight "Can't breath Jake!"

"Oh sorry."

"Jake, I love you with all of my heart. I could never leave you. No, what I wanted to tell you was that he came to visit me. At my house, trying to pull some shit about always loving me. Like just saying the words would make it all better."

"And what did you tell him?" he asked hesitantly

"I told him the truth. That I had moved on and that I was happy."

"How did he take it? If you don't mind me asking."

"I don't think it went over well. He followed me here, at least till the border."

"He what?" Jake was angry now he was shaking

"Calm down Jake. I'm fine. I can handle him."

"I can't risk him hurting you. You have to stay here on the reservation." He was looking at me with such love and concern in his eyes

"Oh, I'm sure that would really go over well with Charlie. You know I can't stay here."

"Please be careful Bella, if he is desperate to get you back. Who knows what lengths he'll go to."

"Jake, he would never hurt me."

"Please Bella." As he held me close to him "I can't loose you."

'I love you too Jake!" I knew he was only acting like this because he cared so much.

"Hey, better get going. Charlie's going to be mad." I stood on my tiptoes and reached to kiss him but he scooped me up and carried me back to my truck. I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

He set me down by the truck, and kissed me goodbye "Call me when you get home Bells"

"Sure sure!" I smiled and took off down the road

I was a bit nervous to cross the borderline in case Edward was there. So far so good I thought to my self. Then I saw him. He was standing in the middle of the road; I swerved to avoid hitting him and lost control of my truck. I was of the road. I saw a tree, I lurched forward and then into blackness.

When I woke up, I felt cool hands on my head. I was in a bed and I jumped up. I was in Edward's room. "What the hell am I doing in here?"

"Calm down Bella. You had an accident, let me get Carlisle back in here. He'll explain everything." He was reaching for me and I fell backwards to avoid his touch

"Don't touch me. You've done enough!" I got up and stumbled for the door. He reached for me again but I had the door open and I ran toward the stairs. He followed me, as I stumbled once again I turned to see him "Bella. I love you. Please don't do this" I had grabbed my good arm "Please Bella!" I looked down the hall and saw Emmett

"Edward, let her go! She wants to leave. Edward?" Emmett came towards Edward and he pushed me out of the way.

I let out a scream as I proceeded to fall down the stairs. Once at the bottom I heard Carlisle speak to me "Bella? Talk to me…Bella? Wake up!" I slowly opened my eyes and started to get up

"What the hell is wrong with you Edward!"?

"Oh god! Carlisle is she okay?"

"Please Carlisle, can you just take me home."

"Bella, you should let me examine you, make sure your okay."

"Right now I don't care if I am okay. I need to get home; Charlie and Jake must be so worried about me. Where's my truck, I'll take myself. Oh that's right! I crashed it to avoid hitting your son Edward!" I was hysterical at this point

"Bella, I will take you home. And you, I'll talk to you later!" Carlisle said, the last part was for Edward

He picked me up taking me to the garage. Alice held the door and the last look I had of Edward he was sitting on the stairs head in his hands with Emmett next to him. Emmett gave a small wave and I waved back with a small smile. I couldn't be angry with the others. It wasn't their fault.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry to put you out like this."

"Bella, no. You have nothing to be sorry for. Edward is acting irrationally; he needs to understand that he must suffer the consequences of his actions. It's that simple. You have your own life to lead."

"Thank you Carlisle. For everything, you have always been so kind."

"Think nothing of it. Now how are you feeling? Any pain?"

"Well, now that you mention it. I feel like I'm having hard time breathing. I'm sure it's nothing."

"I'm going to take you to the hospital Bella. It could be cracked ribs or internal bleeding anything."

"Please Carlisle home will be fine."

"Well, when I get there I'm going to talk to your father."

"I'm sure I couldn't stop you!" I started to laugh, and it turned into a cough. When I pulled my hand away there was blood. Carlisle looked at me and his eyes grew wide, the car I noticed was turned around and we were headed to the hospital.

My head was feeling dizzy from the blood and I was ready to check out of conciseness

"No, no no…Bella say awake! Bella? Bella? Shit!"


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up in the ER with Jake and my dad hovering over me. "She's awake Charlie." Jake said relieved

"Bella, thank god your okay."

"I'm fine. I just fainted from the blood that's all. No big deal!"

"Carlisle called and said you'd been in a minor car accident. What happened?" Charlie asked

I was about to answer when I saw Carlisle draw the curtain back. I glared at him. "A wild animal was in the road, I swerved to avoid it. Like I said, I'm fine." I looked at Carlisle suspiciously, after all he was supposed to take me home and now I was here at the damn hospital

"Well Bella, you are one lucky woman. You have no internal bleeding, your ribs are fine, and the X-Ray shows no fractures. Charlie, you can take her home but if she has any discomfort or dizziness please don't hesitate to bring her in."

"Thank you Dr. Cullen, for everything." I said

"Your welcome. You take care Bella!" He smiled and then was gone

"Can we just go home, please?" I started to get up; Jake wrapped his arms around me helping to steady me.

"Bella, are you sure your okay? You look real pale." Jake sounded worried

'I just need a good night sleep, that's all. You heard Dr. Cullen, he said I'm fine."

"Let's get you to bed kiddo!" Charlie said

I leaned on Jake as we slowly walked to the car, "Well Bells I'm glad your okay, I'll check in on you tomorrow morning."

"Thanks Jake." I turned to kiss him and heard him whisper that he'll meet me at home.

God he was great. He always knew just what I needed. I needed to see a friendly face; I needed to tell him what had happened. I knew he wasn't going to be pleased. But with Jake I always felt like I needed to be totally honest and open with him.

When Charlie and I got home, he helped me up to my room and attempted to get me situated. "Dad I'm fine really, I just need a cup of water for the pain pills if you don't mind?"

"Sure Bella." He went to the bathroom and returned moments later with a glass of water

"Bella, you have a good night. We'll talk about this more in the morning."

"Night Dad. I love you!"

"Love you too." And he kissed me on the top of my head

I just fell back on my bed and dazed at the ceiling. Soon I heard the familiar sound of Jake outside my window, I was relieved.

Suddenly I saw his face staring down at me." Bella? You okay?"

"Yup, I'm just waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

"You."

"Well, I'm here silly." I slowly began to sit up; my body was hurting, maybe from the fall. I don't know.

I got up and proceeded to pull my pajamas out of the drawer. "A little help please!"

"What Bella? You want me to help you…um."

"Oh forget it." I snapped as I fumbled trying to get my arm with the splint on it thru my sleeve without ripping it. My back was facing Jake and I was struggling

"Jesus Bella! Where did you get those bruises on your back? Was that from horseback riding?" He had moved over and had placed his hand on my back. I winced as he touched me.

"Here Bella, I'm sorry let me help you."

He pulled the shirt over my head and unclasped my bra. I was able to pull that off, and he helped me put my tank on. As his hands pulled it over my torso, I turned to face him. "Thank you Mr. Black for your assistance. But would you mind turning around for the next portion?"

"Oh sure, sorry!" a flush appeared in his cheeks

I just laughed and with him turned I removed my jeans, and proceeded to put on my sweat pants. As I pulled on the last leg, I teetered a bit and reached out for Jake. He turned to help me, and I looked up into his dark brown eyes. I reached up and kissed him with everything I was. Today, tonight how he treated me always reminded me why I loved him. He seemed a bit taken back by my forward actions, but didn't mind, not at all!

He pulled his arms around me and I winced in pain. He pulled away from me "Sorry, Bells. You need to get some sleep." He sat me down on the bed and I reached for my pill bottle. He picked up my glass of water and handed it to me. He watched me anxiously as I dumped a bunch of pill in my hand, I took the water from him and threw the pills to the back of my throat and drained the glass.

"Bells? I don't think you should have taken that many? What was that like 5?"

"More like 8…I don't know Jake, really I just need the pain to go away."

"So, what happened after you left me? You crashed the truck?" he looked nervous

"That I did! Edward was standing in the middle of the road. I swerved and lost control. I guess he just wanted to talk. I don't know I never found out. I woke up at the Cullen's house, Carlisle checked me out, he tried to talk to me again, this time he was pretty persistent. I ran from him and fell down the stairs." I let out a yawn and Jake was beginning to shake.

"Jake Please keep calm. I'm fine! Carlisle helped me, and the rest of them realize I have moved on and that I am happy. It just might take Edward a bit longer that's all."

"What is his problem? He left, and now its like he cant take the choice he made."

"Well Jake, I figure that's his problem. Not ours." I yawned again "Jake?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Stay the night. Please. I don't want to be alone."

"Of course I will my sweet angel. Goodnight, Goodnight a thousand times goodnight." I felt a soft kiss on the cheek and I was dreaming


	6. Chapter 6

Everyday at school for the next several weeks, I was forced to at least acknowledge Edward. Since I had several classes with him I had to see him. But that didn't mean I had to talk to him. In fact it was quite the opposite, I purposely avoided speaking to him. I spoke to Alice of course, after all her brothers stupidity should have no bearing on my feelings for her or the rest of the Cullen's.

That was at least my thought on the subject although Jake didn't agree with me. He felt I should avoid all of them at all costs. It was too dangerous to even talk to them. But since I mostly saw them at school, I really couldn't help it.

I had the all clear from a Doctor at the hospital to stop wearing the splint. My arm was better and I was feeling good. When I went to school that day Alice noticed it too.

"You got your cast off! Carlisle didn't mention that he saw you. Funny." She sounded a bit upset about that.

"Alice, he wouldn't have said anything because I didn't see Carlisle. I saw a different Doctor that day." I saw her look at me with an expression of frustration

"Bella? Are you trying to avoid us?"

"What Alice?" I asked shocked "No, I'm not trying to avoid anyone except-"

"Edward." She whispered

'Yes Alice, I'm avoiding Edward!" I was getting aggravated now; she knew I didn't want to speak to her 'dear brother'

"Did you need me Alice?" A cool angelic voice called from behind me. As I heard the words I closed my eyes. He had heard our conversation. I was mortified

"No, Edward. It's okay; I just thought that Bella would want-" she began saying. I looked at her and with pleading eyes begged her to stop "want to talk to you."

"Alice!" I cried, "How could you say something like that?"

"Bella, just hear me out. This is getting ridiculous. Edward loves you. You love Edward. What is the problem? Lets talk about this like mature rational adults."

"Bella, if I could just talk to you for just a minute." He was practically begging. It was rather pathetic

"You want to talk about this like mature, rational adults?" I fumed at her "Well I feel that I'm at a disadvantage."

"What do you mean Bella?" She asked

"Well, the only real adults around here are a couple of 100 year olds. So I'm lacking in over 80 years of experience shall we say!"

With that I just turned and ran. I headed for my car. But Edward caught up to me and took my arm.

"Please Bella. Listen to me. Alice had a vision about you-"

"Stop Edward! I don't care what the vision was about."

"But you-" he continued, not listening to me

"STOP!" I yelled "I can't take it anymore Edward! Why are you doing this to me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Just get out of my way Edward. I need to go." I pushed past him, slipping from his grasp.

I ran to my truck, jumping in and speeding away. I just drove. I didn't care where I went. I just needed to clear my head. When did my life get so complicated? I thought to myself.

I stopped the truck and looked into my past. This just might help me feel better, I thought as I jumped out and entered the building. I spoke to the attendant and was told they weren't that busy and there was open ice time. I got some skates and headed into the rink.

It was just as empty as the attendant said and I stepped out onto the ice for the first time in 2 years. I pushed off, starting out slowly. As I gained speed, feeling the air pass my face. I had a feeling of flying. This was what I always loved about skating. On solid ground I was just plain clumsy, but on ice I was almost graceful. Almost!

As I increased my speed gaining momentum, I was feeling brave. I started with single jumps, but then soon advanced to some doubles, then moving into some combinations. Of course I fell several times, but it was from lack of practice. I felt the cold ice beneath me, but got back up and kept going.

Skating in circles, I began analyzing myself. Falling was a metaphor for my life. I had fallen, fallen in love with Edward hard. I loved him with all of my heart. But then he left. I felt as though I had fallen from my angels encircling wings that had held me tight. But once again, I had pulled myself up again after that fall, this time with assistance. Jake had saved me. I don't think I'd be breathing if he hadn't cared enough to love me.

I sped past the stands, and soon noticed I wasn't alone anymore. I made one more pass and noticed Edward watching me with his mouth open. I decided to give him a bit of a show as I did a triple, and several spins. As I skated to the benches I decided to speak to him. "Why did you have to follow me?" I asked a bit breathless

"Bella! That was so incredible. I never knew that you skated!" He said amazed

"Well Edward, there are a lot of things you don't know about me. Lots of things you never were around to learn about me."

"Bella, I am so sorry for leaving you. You must believe me, I only did what I thought was best for you."

"What was best for me? I could have told you what was best for us, if you had only asked. I begged you not to go, but you didn't listen to me! You never did."

"I was wrong, and now I cant stand seeing you with him. I love you."

"I love you too Edward." I said looking into his eyes "But Jake is my world now."

"I can not accept that!"

"You don't have a choice. It isn't up to you anymore." I said as I headed back out to the ice.

"Bella! Wait!"

"I'm done waiting Edward." And I made my way back onto the ice. I felt anger rise up within me. I had made myself clear to him before there was nothing left to talk about. I was racing around the rink as fast as I could skate. I needed to blow of some steam and this seemed to help. I once again returned to feeling the cool breeze against my face and my hair flowing behind me. Since I couldn't run fast…this was the best I could do.


	7. Chapter 7

When I got home, Charlie was already there and he looked mad.

"Bella, where have you been? Jake's been calling; in fact he's on his way over he was so worried about you. We both were!"

"Sorry Dad. I found an ice rink and went skating."

'Tell me you didn't, I thought that after…well you know…that you wouldn't do that again."

"I needed to let of some steam dad, and it really helped. I might go back tomorrow."

"Bella, just please be careful. You know I worry."

"I know." I smiled at him "I'll get started with diner" I heard a knock at the door and Charlie went to get it.

'Bella! I've been so worried! Are you okay?" Jake asked as he kissed my lips

"I'm great actually! I found a rink, and went skating. It was relaxing."

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time. I was just worried, I thought maybe Edw-"

'Please Jake stop, I see Edward at school everyday. I am fine. Actually he followed me to the rink today."

"He what?" Jake pulled my face to look at his

"He followed me to the rink. No big deal. Once again I told him it was too late and that I loved only you!" I kissed him and pulled him to me. He felt so warm against me, my heart pounded in my chest.

The phone rang, and Charlie came into get it. "Oh, okay. I'll be there in five."

He looked over at us, "Sorry kids! I've got to go into work. There is an emergency. I'll call you later Bella. Don't wait up."

"Okay Dad, be careful. I love you."

"Love you too Bella." As he ran out the door

"So, it looks like it's just you and me." I said to Jake as I continued making dinner

"What were you doing at the skating rink Bella?"

He was behind me as he put his hands on my waist, and began to pull my hair back to expose my neck. He lightly kissed down my neck and I let out an involuntary moan of pleasure.

He turned me to face him, moving his kisses down my throat, pulling me up to sit on the counter then he looked into my eyes. "Bella. I better go or else this is going to get out of hand."

"It already is out of hand Jake." As I wrapped my legs around him pulling him closer as I kissed him franticly

"Bella, we can't."

"We can." I said as I tugged at his shirt releasing it from his jeans. I pulled it up, revealing his beautiful chest. I placed my ear next to his chest and heard his heart thumping wildly.

"I love you Jacob Black." I said and listened to his heart pick up

"Bella, I-"

"Jake, forget about it. I don't want you to do something you'll regret. Please just hold me."

"Bella, I would never regret making love to you. I want you right here, right now. But I want it to be special for us."

"Oh, sure sure. I understand. Your one of those wait till your married kind of guys!" I teased

"No, Bella. Trust me I'm not! I couldn't wait that long!"

I could feel his erection thru his pants. "Jake are you sure you don't want to" I batted my eyelashes at him attempting to flirt.

"Stop tempting me!" he said as I kissed his throat. He let out a growl of pleasure "To hell with it!"

He pulled his shirt off and tossed it on the floor. I reached for his pants and felt him thru the material. "Oh Bella!" he said kissing me as he fumbled with my shirt.

The door opened suddenly " Sorry. Forgot my gun-" Charlie said as he walked past and picked it up. He looked at us, me on the counter, Jake between my legs. Thank god I had my clothes on. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" he demanded

I looked at my father, his face angry. "We were cooking and I fell. Jake picked me up and put me on the counter so he could look at the damage." I lied, but tried to sound innocent

"Um, Bella, then why is his shirt off?" Charlie said, but a smirk started to appear on his face

"We'll, um..Jake that's a good question. Why did you take you shirt off?" I asked with fake shock. He looked at me like I had just turned him over to the firing squad and as I thought about it he was almost right. Charlie did have a gun in his possession and Jake had been caught 'making out' with the chief's daughter.

"Charlie, I really can't…I can't think of reason why my shirt would be off Sir."

"Jake calm down." Charlie chuckled " I know what's going on and I think it would be best it you head home now Jake."

"See ya tomorrow Bells! Bye Charlie!" He planted a quick peck on my cheek as he picked up his shirt and darted for the door.

"Was that completely necessary dad!"

"Yes Bella it was. You'll thank me later!"

"Sure, like when I'm taking a cold shower!" I laughed

"Exactly!" Charlie said as he left the house for the second time

I called Jake's house a bit later to see if he made it home but Billy said he had to go out with his friends. That wasn't a big deal as long as he had made it back. In my room I looked out my window out into the darkness of the night. I thought about the great day I had skating. I would certanly be doing that again no matter what Charlie said. I was good at it; I never should have stopped after the accident. But at the time I was scared and they convinced me it was safer for me to quit. I foolishly believed them. I saw someone emerging from the darkness of the woods. My heart jumped at the thought of Jake, but the figure was too small. It was Alice. I made my way downstairs slowly and quietly so I wouldn't wake Charlie. I made my way out to the driveway "Hey Alice!"

"Bella." She looked at me with anger. That was a first I thought, "Why wouldn't you listen to Edward?"

"Why would I Alice? He has nothing I want to hear."

"But I had a vision and he said you wouldn't listen."

"Alice, you are a great friend but Edward isn't part of my life anymore. He won't accept my friendship. He wants me as I was before. I'm no longer that girl. I've changed, he doesn't know who I am anymore."

"But he wants to know you. He loves you Bella, and I know you love him. Please, give him a chance."

"Alice, I have nothing left to give! Please understand. I gave him everything, my heart and soul. I begged him to stay with me Alice, the way he practically is begging now. Nothing mattered to him. I have moved on. I have chosen to live my life, and right now those choices do not include Edward Cullen."

"I understand what you are saying but you need to realize the danger you are in."

"What danger could I possibly be in?"

"In my vision you whe-"

"Alice, your visions don't always come to fruition. I'll be fine, and if something happens to me. Well let's just call it fate finally catching up to me. Deal?"

"NO BELLA! You can't just act all casual about this. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!"

I looked at her; I was taken back by her words. Her visions weren't 100, things change and with them the future. My life was just starting to have a resemblance of normalcy. I wouldn't live in fear any longer. I didn't need to be protected by Edward anymore. In fact, if I was being honest all of my problems where due in part to my relationship with the Cullen's. I turned to walk into the house; I was tired needed to get some sleep.

"Well then Alice, I can only think of one thing to say."

"And what might that be?" She hesitantly asked

"Today is a good day to die!"


	8. Chapter 8

I got back to my room, closing the door behind me. I put my head against the door closing my eyes as I locked it.

"You really didn't mean what you said, did you Bella?" the concerned voice sounded

I must have jumped about a mile; I turned with my hand to my chest "Christ Jake! Are you trying to give me a heart attack!" I stumbled to the bed and crashed.

"Sorry Bella. I told you I'd see you later. Why would you tell Alice 'today is a good day to die'?"

"Jake, of course I don't want to die silly! They just keep bothering me about some vision Alice had, they won't drop it!"

"What happens in the vision?" Jake asked as he sat down on my bed pulling me to him

"I wouldn't know. I refuse to hear it. I wont live my life in fear or something that may or may not happen."

"But she said you were going to die Bella. Maybe we should find out what was in the vision."

"Oh please Jake. Not you too! Listen, sometimes her visions come true, sometimes not. Lets just drop this. Okay?"

"For now Bells." He kissed the top of my head, and I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up a while later still in Jake's arms. I turned to him and softly kissed his mouth. I nibbled gently on his ear and I heard him let out a low moan. "Bella. What are you doing?"

"Nothing, just relax." I whispered as I reached down his chest and panted kisses down his stomach reaching his waistband. I ran my hand down over his erection that was forming and he let out another moan. "Oh Bells!"

I started to move his shorts down, but his eyes flashed open. "Bella honey, what are you doing?" This time he was totally awake.

"Nothing." I tried to act innocent

"You were trying to take advantage of me weren't you Bella?" He laughed

"Caught me! Guilty as charged. I just couldn't resist, you're so damn hot!"

"Bella, I want you so bad. But I want to make sure you're ready. That you really want me."

"Jacob, this isn't a game for me. I love you with all of my soul. I want to take this relationship to the next level. But only if you want to, I wouldn't want to force you Jake."

I didn't have to say anything else. He pulled me to him and pulled my shirt off quickly. He reached out to cup my breasts "God Bella, you are so beautiful!" he kissed each one in turn as he flicked his tongue over the nipple.

I could feel Jake getting harder beneath me. I slipped off his lap and pulled his shorts off. I took him in, the beauty of his hard muscular body. I was pulled back towards him and he took my pants off. I stood naked before him, as he took me down onto the bed. He kissed me, and I let out a moan as I felt him between my legs.

"Bella?" He asked in a breathless tone "Do you have anything? Protection I mean."

I felt him at my entrance; I wanted him to fill me so much. I needed him now. But could we risk it? What would be the worst that could happen? We loved each other, we where coming together as one and I didn't want to stop.

I pushed him slightly away, "No Jake. I'm sorry I don't have anything." I let out a frustrated sigh "Wait! I think I saw some in the bathroom. I'll be right back. Don't move!"

I quickly darted across the hall, and found what I was looking for. Charlie must have gotten nervous earlier and pick some up 'just in case'. He was nothing if not practical!

I ran back to my room and found Jake as I left him. I ripped a condom out of the packet and rolled it onto his shaft. He shivered at my touch, as he took me in his arms and moved on top of me.

"Bella, are you sure you want to do this with me?"

"Jake, I've never been more sure about anything. I love you. I want you; please I'm giving myself to you. Take me…now!"

I once again felt him between my legs. I opened myself up to him as he place himself once again at my entrance. He pushed so carefully, slowly, inch by inch inserting himself in as he left out a growl. I wrapped my legs around him pulling him all of the way into me. The pain was sharp, and it stung a bit. But soon that pain was masked by a tingling pleasure sensation. I felt him in me. He was hot, and I was euphoric. This my first time ever, it was so exciting but with an edge of pain. I felt something coming, and as I orgasmed, I called out to Jacob. "Oh God Jake!" I whispered not wanting to wake Charlie.

I felt his rhythm pick up as I matched his thrusts. I could feel him tense up as he came calling my name in my ear "Bella, god I love you!" He shuddered to his completing and fell on top of me kissing my lips frantically holding me so close to him.

He rolled off of me and I realized that when he came inside of me, I felt hot liquid in me, actually in me. I sat up suddenly and looked at the condom. It was shredded, all of its contents were not held within the latex as it should have been, but had been deposited into me.

"Um, Jake?"

"Yea honey?"

"Never mind." It didn't matter at this point; it was too late to worry about it now. I pulled off the condom remnants and tossed it aside.

Soon, I felt Jake getting hard again, as he rubbed himself up against me. He reached for another condom and opened the package "Jake, I hate to tell you, but I don't think that is going to matter much at this point."

"What do you mean Bells?"

"Um, Jake you busted thru the last one."

He just looked at me I saw worry cross his face. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't realize. So your saying that I…"

"Yup!"

"So we might-"

"Yup!"

"Bella, even knowing that. I do want you again."

"Take me Jake, I'm yours. Always yours."

He tossed the packet to the floor, and he pushed into me again. This time was even better. We had no barriers between us and this time when he finally came I knew what I was feeling, I was feeling his love flowing into me and spilling over.

We completed each other, complemented each other so well. I loved him with my mind body and soul. I fell asleep in his arms in the harmony and love that surrounded me.


	9. Chapter 9

I woke up to a knock at my door. My eyes flashed open, and noticed I was alone. The door opened, and I saw Jake coming in with breakfast for me.

"Breakfast in bed my love." He smiled as he kissed the top of my head as he placed the plate of food in front of me

"Um, thanks Jake but where is Charlie?" I asked hesitantly

"Oh, no worries there. He left hours ago. There is a note for you in the kitchen, something about fishing." He chuckled

"Thank you for the breakfast." I patted the bed encouraging him to sit. "Please Jake, have some. There is way too much food here." I said as I picked up a slice of toast

"if you insist." Jake said as he bit the piece of toast in my hand.

"Hey, that was mine!" I teased and he just smiled at me

"Jake, would you please hand me my robe on the back of the door?"

he quickly jumped up and brought it over to me. I slid the robe on and jumped out of bed. "I'm going to take a shower." I kissed him quickly, but he pulled me into his lap.

"Need any help with that?" as he caressed my neck with kisses.

"Um…I'll be fine on my own." I was melting in his arms, he was driving me crazy

"There's something special I can help you with" he teased and I could feel him growing underneath me.

"No, I think you are mistaken. I think there is something you want me to help you with!" I squirmed on his lap.

"Okay, you caught me! What do you think Bells? Would you be up for it?"

"I can see you are!" I laughed "Jake, I will take a rain check on that! I really need a shower!" and I ran to the bathroom turning on the hot water that would sooth my aching muscles.

I quickly showered and ran across to my room to get some clothes. As I entered the room, Jake was on my bed with my headphones on and his eyes closed.

I couldn't resist myself. His body was just too damn temping to me. I crawled up on the bed and saw his eyes flash open. As he took me in, towel and all he was speechless.

I was out the door reluctantly about an hour later followed closely by Jake. I had resurrected my old skates from the depths of my closet and we were off to the rink. Jake was curious to see how someone who wasn't safe walking could be safe skating. Plus I think he was worried Edward might show up again. He was acting very territorial about me, and at the moment it was cute.

As Jake drove, I looked over the condition of my skates. They weren't too bad, and before they had been stored away they had been sharpened.

"I can't wait to see you skate. I know you'll be perfect"

"Cut it out Jake." I was blushing now and he reached over placing his hand on my cheek. He was so warm, and I leaned into his touch.

Soon we were at the rink, and I convinced Jake to rent some skates. This was going to be fun, seeing a werewolf on ice. We made our way to the ice, there where a few small kids skating, but other than that it was empty. I stepped out onto the ice and reached out for Jacob as he hesitantly stepped to the ice. He was wobbling instantly. Instinctively he grabbed for me and pulled us both down to the ice. We laughed so hard that we didn't notice when more people arrived. I got up and looked to see Alice, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie staring at us from the benches. I looked down at Jake, I extended a hand to help him up, but as he was almost straight we both fell to the ice this time laughing hysterically. "Jake, let me get up first then take my hand, and please use the pick at the front of your skate to steady yourself. This time we are going to make it!" I laughed

Once we were both up, he hugged me tightly, "I love you Bells, but I don't think a wolf is cut out for this." He teased. I took his hand and we unsteadily made our way around the ice. "Hey, this is fun." He smiled widely at me, the smile was gone in an instant as we rounded to see the small group of Cullen's off to the side. He let out a growl.

"Jake! Stop this now. We are here to spend time together. Just ignore them, they have the right to be here too. It is a public place." I held his hand firmly

"I'm sorry Bells. I really wanted you to have a good time today."

"I am having a great time. I'm with you. There is no where else in the world I would rather be." He bent to kiss me and we fell over again, laughing on the way down.

I knew that Edward and his family had heard everything we had said but I just didn't care.

"So that was the wonderful skating you were talking about Edward. It looked pretty crappy to me." Rosalie said in a mocking tone just loud enough for me to hear.

Rosalie had never really liked me much, but I didn't think I deserved this type of treatment. She was just being plan rude, and I watched as she turned to leave. The rest of them stayed, just watching me.

"What are you looking at?" I said angrily

"Bella." It was Alice who spoke "Please can we talk."

"I have nothing to say Alice I'm sorry." I looked over to Jake

"Jacob Black. Then can I talk to you." Alice said, she must be desperate I thought if she was willing to talk to Jake.

"Sure." He said as I looked over at him concerned "I'll be fine Bella. I just want to find out about that vision and see what she wants to say. Just help me over there. I don't think I can make it!" he smiled

I took him to the side of the rink and pushed off away from them all. I knew Jake only wanted to protect me, but I can't believe Alice resorted to talking with Jake. I raced around the rink, most of the smaller children had gone so I basically had the rink to myself.

I closed my eyes and I just tried to relax, I focused on skating and the air around me. I started out with several jumps, and a few combinations. As I passed where Jake and the others were talking, they just watched almost mesmerized by me by the look of it. Jake's mouth was open in shock and at that I chuckled to myself.

I started to attempt a triple double, when Rosalie came in screaming "Oh my god! Bella's amazing." I lost my concentration and crashed into the wall instead. I lay on the ice hearing shouting and my name called from multiple people across the rink. Then from the confusion, I heard the only voice that mattered

"Bells!" I heard Jake's frantic voice as I lay there on the ice. He was there almost immediately.

"Jake, please I'm fine." I started to get up but felt dizzy. "Okay, I just need to sit for a minute. I'm fine Jake."

"Bella, you need to see a doctor." Edward chimed in concerned

I ignored him, "Bella?" Jake questioned

"I said I'm fine. I've had worse, this is nothing. Just got the wind knocked out of me." With that I attempted to get up again, this time with success. I reached over for Jake and he took my hand, "Jake are you finished talking to Alice. Or do you need more time?"

"Well, we really didn't get a chance to talk. I watched you skating, we all were in fact."

I skated away, as I watched them beginning to talk to Jake intently.

I made my way over to where Rosalie had been standing "Bella. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to distract you. It was just amazing, you were so graceful, so beautiful."

"Rosalie, thank you for saying that. But please you don't need to apologize. I was not focused enough, and I lost it no big deal."

"I always wanted to learn." She said quietly

"Hey, Rosalie go get some skates and meet me back out here. I can show you a few things, but you being a vampire you'll pick it up in no time." I smiled at her.

She was back within minutes, and we were out on the ice. "Rosalie, we are going to take a few turns around the ice, just so you can get the feel of it." I held her hand and we started off, she had no problems with balance of course but she was unsure of herself.

"This is great Bella!" she smiled at me

"Rose? What do you think your doing?" Emmett looked over as he saw his wife glide by

"What does it look like? Bella's showing me a few of her moves" she chuckled

"You two look real hot right now! Get a couple of those little skating skirts and your all set." Emmett said and from behind him I heard 2 distinct growls. Edward and Jake. I rolled my eyes, and Rosalie just laughed

Soon I saw Jake wave me over, and the look of concern was on his face.

"Why so glum Jake?" I joked

"You need to hear this Bella. I'm sorry but it's serious."

"Okay, sure Jake, what ever you think is best." Edward looked shocked

"Wait a minute, after all I've done to get you to listen, after Alice tries to tell you about her vision. All it takes is for him to say you should listen and you just do it." He seemed upset about that.

"Well, yes Edward. If Jake thinks this is important, then I'm sure it is."

"What the hell have you done to Bella you dog!" Edward said

"I love her Edward, and she trusts me that's all. I've never given her any reason to doubt me. Nothing more than love I assure you." Jake said as he lovingly took my hand and kissed it, I blushed and Edward looked away sadness in his eyes.

"Bella, it's Victoria." Alice said that was all I heard because I took off I couldn't hear this. I was no longer part of that world, I never really was. Two cold arms encircling my waist caught me. Edward had stopped me, he held me close to him and inhaled my scent my "God Bella. I love you." He breathed

"Please, don't make this harder for me Edward." I begged "I have Jacob now."

"Listen to me. Victoria is after you for revenge. She thinks she can wound me by killing my mate."

"We'll then the solution is easy, just tell her I'm not your mate. That I never had been your mate!"

"But your death would hurt me, that is all she sees. She will not give up, until you are dead."

"Jake!" I cried and he was at my side pulling me from Edward gently "Can't we just explain to her that I'm yours and not Edward's.

"You're his what Bella?" he looked at me, then at Jake, concern on his face

"Bella is mine. She is my mate Edward." And with those words he understood. Jake had made me his, he had done things with me Edward could only imagine. Edward looked away, he was shaken by that piece of information.

"But the fact remains, that Victoria is coming and we need to stop her at all costs." He continued on as if he hadn't heard a thing.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I'm suddenly feeling very overwhelmed by all of this. I think I need to get home."

"I'll meet you in a second Bella. Let me just talk to Edward."

"Okay." as I walked away I could hear them talking

"I think the pack and your family should hold a meeting, to work on a resolution. We'll be in touch. When do you think this will-"

"It could be tomorrow or a few months from now. Alice hasn't pointed down the exact time."

"Thanks"

"Oh Jacob, be good to her please. And know I'll be waiting for the day you leave her for your imprint." He mocked and at that I turned to stare at the two of them.

"Bella is my imprint you arrogant ass!"


	10. Chapter 10

We made our way back to my house in silence, as I opened the door, I couldn't take it any longer. "Jake, what was that you were saying to Edward?" I asked nervously

"I told him you were my imprint." He said in a mater of fact tone

"Why would you say a thing like that?" I asked

"Because it's true Bella. I love you so very much. You are everything to me; you are all I can think about. You have become my world, my imprint"

"Jake, this is all a bit much to take in. You never mentioned this before."

"Bella honey, I wanted you to be with me by your own choice, not because I told you some mystical wolf thing. You are free to make your own choices. But of course I love you and want to be with you always." He kissed the top of my head as I pulled away.

"I'm blown away. I'm not sure what to think, I need to be alone Jake. I need some time with this." I said

"I understand Bells, but right now it's not a good idea for you to be alone with Victoria out there and all."

"Please just, give me some space." I begged

"Well, I guess I should let the pack know what is going on. But I'll be back later, okay?"

"Sure Jake. Bye." I said as I practically pushed him out the door

Now that I was alone my mind kept racing. I had made love to Jake and now he said he was my soul mate. But I had thought Edward was my soul mate before. Edward had been my reason for existing. His was the love I had to forget. I tried so hard, but I could never banish Edward from my mind completely.

I fell onto my bed crying, unable to understand what I should do.

I woke up to Charlie pounding on my door. "Bella? Jacob is here, he wants to talk to you."

"Tell him to go away!" I shouted as I realized it was morning

"Bella, please just come talk to him. I've gotta go to work."

"Okay dad, I'll be down in a minute."

I went to the bathroom and washed my face. I had cried and my eyes were still puffy and red, I ran a comb thru my hair and brushed my teeth. I headed downstairs to face Jake.

"Bella? How are you feeling today? Your eyes loo-"

"I know they're red and puffy. I've been crying Jake. No big deal!"

"What's wrong Bells? Is it something I've done or about what I said?"

"I was just a bit overwhelmed with the whole soul mate thing Jake. But I'll be fine. I love you!" and I moved in to kiss him as he pulled me tight to him

"God Bells, you feel great in my arms."

"It's a great place to be! So, did you talk to Sam?"

"Yes I did. We are meeting with the Cullen's tomorrow night. Alice is coming over to hang out with you."

"You mean she's going to baby sit me. Jake, I'm fine. I don't need her."

"Please Bella. I'll feel better knowing you've got someone watching over you, even if it is a Bloodsucker."

"Jake, please don't call Alice that."

"I'm sorry, you know what I mean."

"What do you want to do now?"

"We could…um…" as he reached to stroke my cheek and moved his hand to my neck

'Why don't we watch a movie?"

"A movie sounds good." He said a bit disappointed but we sat down and I soon found myself asleep in his arms.

The next day when Alice came to sit with me during the meeting, she looked at me curiously "Bella, why are you doing this to your self?"

"Alice, I don't know what you are talking about."

"Why are you refusing to acknowledge the feelings you have for my brother?"

"Alice, You need to understand. I have moved on, I'm in love with Jake we are together now."

"But you still love Edward."

"Alice, please don't make me say it." I began to cry "I will love Edward till the day I die. With my last breath, with my last thought, my love belongs to him."

"Then why are you fighting him."?

"Alice, my life has moved on. Edward chose to not be a part of that. It saddens me, but I have accepted my new life. Now please just leave me. I'm going to my room. Make yourself comfortable."

I went up to my room and picked up a book, I didn't care what I was reading. I just needed to be away from her. Why when I was around her did I feel like everything was so simple? Like I could just go back to Edward no questions asked. But I couldn't do that to Jake. I really did love him and I was going to do my best to make him happy.

Over the next few weeks, I was watched constantly between the pack and the Cullen's. I was going crazy. I couldn't go anywhere with out being followed. I almost wanted Victoria to attack and get it over with.

I continued to skate at the rink at least once or twice a week. That was the only time I felt free. Usually Jake was with me, but after 6 weeks of no Victoria, he was willing to relax a bit. I had been sleeping in a lot the past few weeks, maybe it was the impending doom of death that made me not want to leave the security of my bed. But I got up and dressed to go skate. To my surprise I found Edward out by my truck, I guess it was his turn to watch me.

"Bella? Are you okay? You look like hell."

"Thanks Edward. Good morning to you too!"

"Sorry. You just seem, I don't know…out of it this morning."

"I'm fine. I just need to get out of here." I grumbled

We got to the rink, and I did several passes as Edward watched me. I started into a jump when I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I fell to my knees, but got up again.

"Bella?" I looked over to see a nervous Edward pacing on the edge of the ice. I held up a hand to show I was fine.

I continued around the rink, I probably just pulled a muscle I thought. I picked up speed and suddenly I doubled over in pain. I fell cracking my head on the ice, as I slid to a stop into blackness.

I woke up in the hospital, I heard Jake's voice in the background "She'll be okay at least, wont she?"

"Jacob" I managed to whisper

"Oh god Bella! I'm so sorry!" he cried into my shoulder

"Jake, please don't cry. What's wrong?"

"Bella, you fainted."

"So, Jake, that's nothing to be sorry about. It's not like it's your fault."

"Oh Bella, but it is. It's all my fault."

"What are you talking about Jake? You're scaring me." I was now getting anxious.

"Bells, there is nothing to be scared about. Please calm down Love. You'll hurt the baby."

"What baby?" I said now totally confused

"Our baby Bella. Your pregnant." A small smile on his face

"I'm what! How did that happen? Well I know how it happened, but why didn't I know? I haven't felt…shouldn't I have known…?"

Right then, Dr Cullen came in to check on me.

"Oh, good Bella your awake. You gave us quite a scare." He looked at Jake and me "I'm sure Jacob has told you the good news."

"Yes, I guess he has."

"Well, I've given you some IV fluids, to hydrate you. Once those are done, you'll be free to go. I've written you a prescription for some prenatal vitamins, and I gave Jacob a list of Dr's you can call to see you thru the pregnancy. Please call me if you have any questions. Congratulations Bella." He said as he held my hand and gave me a hug.

"Thank you Carlisle." I said in a dazed voice as I saw Jake shake his hand

Jake scooped me up and held me in his arms as he sat on the bed.

"Bella? Are you going to be okay with this? I didn't ask if you wanted to have the baby."

"Oh god Jake, of course I want our baby! We made her in love Jake. This is the greatest gift I've ever been given. A baby Jake!" I started to cry

"Bella, I know this sounds bad, but when you told me that the condom broke I was secretly hoping that you might get pregnant. And after, when we did it without protection I realized that we were increasing the possibility of you getting pregnant."

"Oh god! What are we going to tell Billy and Charlie?" I gasped

"Tell me what?" I looked up to see Charlie looking from me to Jake with curiosity


	11. Chapter 11

"Oh Dad! What are you doing here?" I asked surprised

"Bella, you're hurt and the hospital called. Of course I'd come. So what was it this time, trip and fall, twisted ankle?" he teased attempting to lighten the mood.

'Um, non of the above." I can't tell him, I'm so mortified I thought

"Then what kid? You are okay aren't you?" he began to get worried

"Bella fainted Charlie." Jacob attempted to help

"Oh, is that all. Well your fine now." Charlie smiled

"But there was a reason I fainted dad." I said putting my head in my hands

"What was the-" he paused, looked at the two of us "Bella. Please tell me your not-"

"Yes Dad. I'm so sorry. I never meant to disappoint you." I began crying in Jacob's arms

"I- I- I've got to get back to the station." Charlie muttered as his face became red and his eyes filled with anger. "We will talk about this later, at home, and alone!" He said glaring at Jacob, slamming the door behind him.

"Well, that went fairly well." Jake said

"What do you mean Jake, did you see him. He's going to kill me when I get home."

"Well, he didn't shoot me with that gun of his, so I think it did go well!"

"Stop kidding around! Can you call for the nurse? I want to get out of her, the IV is done go I can go right?"

"That's what Dr Cullen said. Let me get someone. I'll be right back!"

"Okay. Hey Jake!"

"Yes"

"Love you!"

"I love you too Bells. Be right back."

I was released from the hospital and Jake took me home. I was feeling nervous about the conversation I would be having with Charlie later but it was unavoidable.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Jake asked

"No. I'll be fine Jake." I lied

"Well, do you mind if I tell Billy. Or do you want to do that together?"

"What ever you think is best Jake. I don't want to upset your dad with the news. I'll be lucky if Charlie doesn't have an aneurism," I teased as Jake laughed and kissed me goodbye

I went into the house and decided to make a good dinner to soften Charlie up as much as possible. I suddenly had an epiphany. I would call Jake and invite him and Billy to dinner. After all, Jake and I were in this together and would need both Charlie & Billy's support to get thru this as a family. Charlie would just need to confront me alone another time.

I called the Black's house and Billy answered. "Hello?"

"Hi Billy, it's Bella."

"Bella, how have you been honey?"

"I've been good Billy."

"Jake's not home, would you like me to have him call you?"

"No, actually I was calling with an invitation. Would you and Jake be interested in coming over for dinner?"

"Bella, that sounds like a good idea." He said as I heard Jake in the background 'is that Bella? Is she okay?'

"Jake, Bella invited us to dinner tonight. Are you up for it?"

"Bella, we'll be there. Hey, Jake wants to talk to you."

"Okay, great Billy. See you around 6:00?"

"Sounds great, see you soon."

"Bye Billy." I said

"Hey Bells, what's up with this. You chicken out already!"

"You caught me. I just think we should talk about the baby as a family. Together."

"That sounds like a great idea. See you later."

"Thanks Jake, bye!"

I quickly started to make dinner. I decided on spaghetti, it would be fast and simple. I was feeling tired and wanted to hurry and get tonight over with.

I was finishing up the salad when Charlie came home.

"Smells good Bella."

"Thanks Dad. I hope you don't mind but I invited Billy and Jake for dinner."

"Bella, I wanted to talk to you alone. I told you that." He said aggravation in his tone

"I know what you said dad, but I thought it would be a good chance to tell Billy, and for you to calm to the idea."

"What the hell are you talking about Bella? You want me to be calm! My only daughter is pregnant at 18!" he screamed as his face turned almost purple "I can't believe how irresponsible you are. How could this happen Bella, I'm disappointed in you."

I looked at my father, the tears in my eyes. I couldn't respond to his attack. He was right, I was irresponsible, and I was a disappointment. "Dad, I'm sorry." Was all I could say as I ran to my room locking the door behind me.

I just wanted to be alone; I knew Charlie would be angry I just hadn't realized how he could be so hurtful.

"Bella, I'm sorry. Please come down." Charlie said

"No, it's okay. I'm not hungry, go ahead and eat without me."

"Billy and Jake will be here soon." He continued

"I'm sorry for inviting them. I'm tired I just want to sleep. Please tell them I'm sorry too."

I heard the doorbell ring knowing it would be the Black's. I just wanted some quiet time alone.

There was a knock on the door, it was Jake this time "Bells, are you alright?"

"No Jake, I'm not." I couldn't lie to him

"Please let me in Bells." He said worried

I opened the door and was immediately embraced in his strong arms. "I'm just really worried to face everyone."

"Let's go downstairs and tell Billy together, I think his reaction will be better than Charlie's."

"Okay, lets do it!"

We walked down the stairs, and I went toward the kitchen to finish the salad. I heard Charlie and Billy talking over the game

"Dinner is ready." I called watching Charlie reluctantly make his way to the table, Jake pushing his fathers wheelchair into the kitchen.

"Oh, Bella! This looks fantastic!" Billy smiled

"Thank you Billy."

"So, what is it you two want to talk about?" he questioned

Charlie put his fork down and looked at Billy.

"Well, Dad" Jake began "You know how Bella and I have been spending a lot of time together."

"Yes, I think it's wonderful that you guys have become friends." Billy said

"Dad, Bella and I are more than just friends, were…well-" Jake sputtered

"Oh for Christ sake…Bella's pregnant!" Charlie spat out angrily "Your son impregnated my daughter!"

I stared at Charlie mortified, jumping up from the table and attempted to leave, but was pulled into Jake's arms yet again

"Dad, what Charlie says is true, Bella and I are having a baby. You have the choice to be supportive or you can fill your heart with anger. But the fact remains, that you both will be grandfathers soon, so you might as well accept it."

I looked over to Billy, and met his gaze "Come here Bella." He asked reaching a hand to me "Bella, you are very special to my son. I love you like my own, and now you will be blessing our family with another life. May you and Jacob have a wonderful life together; there is no greater gift than love. You are truly blessed." He pulled me down and kissed my cheek.

Tears welled in my eyes "Thank you Billy. Thank you." Jake hugged me tightly to him

"Thank you dad." He said to Billy, as Charlie glared at us

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not as understanding as Billy here, but I'll try to get use to the idea. But I'm the least of your worries."

"What do you mean Charlie?" Jake asked

"You still need to tell Renee!"


	12. Chapter 12

I suddenly felt sick at the thought of talking to my mother. I swayed, as Jake caught me before I fell. Charlie and Billy had gone to watch a game while Jake and I formulated the best way to tell my mom.

"Bella, are you okay? You look a bit green."

"I forgot about my mother Jake. She is going to kill me!"

"Bella, come on it will be fine. What could she possibly say?"

"That I'm a the greatest disappointment of her life. That I'm a slut who couldn't keep her legs closed-"

"Bella! Enough! Stop speculating, lets call her and get it over with." Jake looked at me with great concern in his eyes. "You don't regret this, do you Bells? You do want our baby?"

"Oh Jake! Once I realized that you came inside of me, when the condom broke the first time we made love and now when I feel this baby we made together growing inside of me I have never regretted any of it. I am looking forward to starting our family and our life together."

"Then it shouldn't mater what your mom says. We love each other and that's all that is of any importance."

I reached for the phone and dialed the number automatically. It rang twice and then I heard the voice I was dreading.

"Hello?"

"Hi mom, it's me!"

"Oh Bella, it's good to hear your voice. Much better than an email. So how is everything going?"

"Well mom, I wanted to tell you something that I think is actually pretty great."

"Oh no Bella, please don't tell me your getting married…I just couldn't handle that."

"No mom. I'm not getting married." I looked at Jake and rolled my eyes

"Oh, thank god! So, what is it, what's the good news."?

"Mom. Jake and I are having a baby. I really hope you can be happy for us."

There was no response

"Mom?"

Silence

"Mom?"

"Bella. I can't believe this. How could you be so stupid!" she screamed

"I'm sorry mom!" I began to cry

"I'm coming to get you, you'll come home with me. There are options for you Bella. I'll make an appointment for you at the clinic, to take care of this mess!"

"No mom. I'm not having an abortion. My baby is not a something that can be taken care of as you say."

"You are not having this baby! Not my daughter!"

"Oh yes I am! You can either be a part of my life and the baby's or not. It's your choice!"

"Then I choose not! You little ungrateful slut! Are you even sure this boy Jake is the father?"

"How could you say that to me? Jake is my first love mom. I've never been with anyone else." I sobbed

"I'm sure you've been spreading your legs all over town, and you just got knocked up and clung to the first available sap that came along!"

"Mom, how could you say this? Why are you being so mean to me?" I was feeling sick and Jake reached out for the phone

"Renee? This is Jacob Black, Bella's fiancé."

"You couldn't just keep it in your pants! You had to screw my daughter like the rest of them!"

"You don't even know what you're talking about. Bella is not like that. And you have upset her. We had hoped you could understand about this, but I see it is pointless. Goodbye Renee" Jake hung the phone up

"She said so many hateful things to me Jake, it was awful. My own mother thinks I'm a slut."

"Bella she's just upset. Your mother didn't mean any of what she said, she was just surprised that's all. She'll come around"

"Do you think so?" I mumbled

"I know so! She'll come around, you'll see." He smiled and pulled me to him holing me tightly. Suddenly he put his hand on my stomach and rubbed my tummy. He bent down and kissed my belly.

"What was that for?"

"I love our baby Bella, and I wanted him to know I'm here!"

"Him?" I laughed and Jake smiled back. I pulled him toward the door

"Dad, Jake and I are going out. We'll be back soon." And we ran out before Charlie could stop us.

"Where are we going?" he Jake asked

"We are going to the beach."

"Sounds good Bells. I'll drive!"

Soon we were at the beach and in each other's arms kissing passionately. I reached for the zipper of Jake's jeans

"Wow. Bella. I don't think this is a good idea."

"What do you mean Jake, don't you want me?"

"Of course I do, but do you think we should. Couldn't we hurt the baby?"

"No Jake, the baby will be fine. People do this all the time! I want to be with you Jake, I want to feel you in side of me." I ran kisses down his neck and he was lost. He couldn't refuse me anything.

"Jake, are you down there?" A voice called

"Sam? What is it?" Jake said

I quickly got dressed as Jake went over to talk with Sam. "Sorry to interrupt" he chuckled "But we've spotted the vampire and we are going out after her."

"I'm on my way." Jake said

" Bells. I've got to join the pack tonight. We might be able to finish this tonight!"

"Please don't go Jake! I couldn't take it if anything happened to you!"

"I'll be fine Bella! You just take care of yourself and our baby." He smiled as he walked me to the truck

"Drive home directly. I'll come to you tonight when this is all over."

"I love you! Be safe!" I said as I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist.

"I love you too!" Jake said as he ran off to join Sam

I drove like a mad woman towards my house. I needed to get home and wait for Jake. Would I be safe from Victoria at my house? What if she were already their waiting in my room? I couldn't protect my baby or myself. But I knew a place we would be safe.

I drove to the Cullen's. I was desperate to protect the life of my baby and I wasn't willing to take any chances with my safety.

I pulled up to the house and ran to the door. Which swung open as I reached the steps. "Hurry Bella! Get inside!" Alice insisted, "Oh thank god you made it Bella!"

"What do you mean Alice? Of course I made it."

"Victoria was trailing you. Thank god you made it here,"

I looked around to see Edward standing at the bottom of the stairs. The look on his face was one of confusion

I ran over to him, I needed to feel safe. He remained frozen as I wrapped my arms around him. He put his arms around me, and stroked my hair.

"Bella. Your safe. Everything will be fine." He said as he pulled my chin up so I could look into his eyes. I saw the coolness in this eyes melt as he took me in. "I'm glad you came here tonight Bella. The others are out looking for her, and with the pack looking as well it's going to be fine."

"Thank you Edward!" I kept my head on his cool chest, I just couldn't move from his embrace. I felt something that I was missing. I never wanted to let him go. I think he could sense my reluctance and he took advantage of that. His lips were suddenly on mine and he wasn't letting up. I responded to his kiss. "Oh Edward!" I whispered, and in a flash we were in his room, on his bed and he was trailing kisses down my neck and arm.

The word that came to my mind was slut. My mother was right, I was a whore. I felt his cool hands on my breasts and I moaned. I reached for his pants, and couldn't find the zipper. "Bella, we need to stop." He whispered

"No Edward, give me what I need."

"What do you need Bella?"

"I need you, silly. I've only always wanted you."

"What about Jacob?"

"Jacob-" the name brought me back to reality. I was Jakes, not Edward's anymore. I pulled myself up and away from Edward.

He reached to kiss me again, and I jumped up "I'm sorry. I forgot myself Edward."

"No, Bella! Please, I'm sorry just forget about him. I shouldn't have mentioned him."

"I can't forget about him. I love him Edward. I'm sorry I just got carried away."

"Bella, please don't do this to me. I need you just like you need me! Please!" he pulled me to him "It can be our secret. He doesn't need to know anything."

"Edward, I can't do that to him. I can't"

"Its not too late, you can still pick me."

"It is too late Edward. I belong to Jake now."

"You are mine!" he insisted

"I'm having Jake's baby, it's too late for us Edward." I looked at the ground and began to cry

"Hush Bella…you don't have to have the baby. We can be together, forever!"

"We can never be together forever!" I cried

"I'll change you! I'll change you today if you want me to! I just need to be with you!"

"Edward, I can't-" and before I could finish he was kissing me wildly. I felt his cool tongue against mine.

"Give yourself to me Bella!" He tugged at my shirt, and then my pants. Soon I was undressed and on the bed. He placed his hand on my tummy. "I can feel its heart inside of you. It flutters like a butterfly." He kissed my tummy like Jake had done, and then he pulled away from me. I heard a rustling, he was removing his clothes. Suddenly he was back between my thighs, I could feel his hard erection lightly pushing at my entrance eager to penetrate me.

"Bella. I love you and I am going to take back what's mine!" He whispered into my ear as I felt him push deep inside of me. I winced at the shock of it, either he was bigger in width or length or both, I couldn't say. But he touched a part of me that Jake couldn't and as he moved inside of me I was on a cloud of euphoria drifting in pleasure as my lover came inside of me.

"Jake can never know…" I grunted "Oh...Edward…ummm…god this feels fantastic!" I looked into his topaz eyes, "I love you Bella, and soon, you will be all mine forever."

"Forever…."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey sleepy head wake up!"

"What- what am I doing here?" I looked out into the vast expanse of the ocean. I had never left the beach. Jake was walking back toward me

"Morning Bells!" he said as he dropped down beside me pulling me into a deep kiss "I was only gone under five minutes. I got you some breakfast!" he announced proudly

"Have we been here all night?" I asked confused

"Of course silly!" he looked quizzically at me "Bella, are you alright?"

"I guess I just had a bad dream, I'm a bit disoriented" I looked away from him, shamed. I had thought I would wake up in Edward's cold embrace, but instead I must have imagined our encounter. I hadn't wakened from a bad dream but a fantastic dream! It seemed so real, I truly felt as though it had all happened. But Jake said we had never left the beach. As I contemplated this, my mind kept racing back to Edward at least the Edward from my dream. Why couldn't I stop thinking about him?

"Bella? Are you there?" Jake persisted

"Oh- Sorry!" I looked into his worried eyes

"You're acting kind of funny this morning? Is there anything you want to talk about?" he encouraged

"No…Jake I'll be fine. I better head home, Charlie is going to kill me!"

Jake walked me to my truck and we said goodbye. I told him I would call him later as I drove off down the road.

As I drove I was extremely distracted. I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. I could almost feel his cool kisses on my body. I realized I wanted to feel his kisses on my body. With that realization I was mortified. I did belong to Jake, and yet I lusted after another. I truly was a horrible person. I pulled the truck over and got out. I ran for the woods, and began tripping over fallen branches and rocks. I found myself down by a small stream and I sat down on the bank.

"Bella, what are you doing out here alone?" A cool voice asked

I turned to see Edward watching me, confused and concerned.

"Please just go away Edward. I want to be alone."

"But it's not safe out here for you. Victoria-"

"I know, but I needed some air."

"Bella, I can tell you are upset about something. Please talk to me, if there is anything I can do for you all you need to do is ask."

"You Edward are my problem." I whispered

"How so?" he asked

"I want to be with you, but I can't be." I stated simply. I figured honesty would be best. I once again gazed out to the water

"Bella? Do you really mean this?" he asked hopefully

"I do mean it with all of my heart, I have wanted you for so long. But we no longer make sense"

"I don't understand you Bella. We belong together, you have just declared that you love me."

"I'm caring Jake's baby and we are going to be a family. So you see, I can't be with you. Jake is my family now and I do love him too."

"So you choose to stay with him because he is the father of your baby? Is that the only reason?" he demanded

"Yes." I said simply

"After the baby is born, we can be together. Forever…"

"After the baby is born I will be a good mother to my child, I will be a good wife to Jacob and someday, in 50 or 60 years I will die. This is the life I have chosen for myself."

"But you love me! You belong with me!"

"We may love each other Edward and I might belong with you, but I belong to Jacob. There is a difference."

I got up, from the edge of the stream and started to walk past Edward.

"Please Bella, I have suffered long enough without you. Come home with me, stay with me and my family."

"That is a tempting offer Edward. But I-" and before I could finish he pulled me to him and kissed me passionately. This kiss was different than the others we had shared. He kissed without reservation; he had nothing left to lose.

I responded to his lips, he was so aggressive that I was immediately overcome. This is how I had wanted to kiss him a hundred times before and he had refused me. I put my hand into his beautiful hair, running my fingers thru it.

I broke away to catch my breath and I met his eyes. I could no longer deny my feelings for this man. He was what I wanted. If I couldn't have him I no longer wanted to walk this earth.

"Take me home Edward." I said in a breathless voice

"If I may ask, where is home these days?" He said

"Home is wherever you are." I breathed

"That's good to hear." He said as he scooped my up and ran me to his house


	14. Chapter 14

I clung tightly to Edward as we raced through the woods. I wanted this moment to last, being held in his arms the feeling of security. Where came into the clearing where the large white house sat. Alice ran out to greet us "Oh Bella. I'm so glad you've chosen to come home."

"It's good to see you too Alice. I have truly missed you." I reached to hug her

"This is so great. We have lots of shopping to do!" Alice ran her hand over my stomach.

"So you already know about that?" after I said it I slapped my forehead "of course you already know!"

She took me by the arm and led me inside "Carlisle, Esme, everyone. Bella's come back to us!"

I watched as the Cullen's came from different directions to surround me. Emmett embraced me and spun me around. "Its good to see you little Sis!" he exclaimed as we all laughed.

I was welcomed back, almost as if I was never gone. I fit perfectly back into my place in this household. Edward scooped me up and took me to his room.

"Bella, there is something we need to talk about. It's not going to be easy."

"I know Edward. Can we talk about it later? I've missed you so much. Please would you hold me?"

"Anything for you love." He pulled me to him and we stayed like that for what seemed like hours.

"Bella, we need to tell Jacob."

"Oh. I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"It needs to be done love." He said as he brushed a lock of hair from my eyes "Would you like me to tell him?"

"I think this is something I need to tell him in person Edward. I don't know how well he's going to take this."

"I'll be with you if you like."

"No, Edward. It would be best if you weren't there. He will never understand why I'm doing this. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing."

He kissed the top of my head "Please let me come with you. I'm very worried how he's going to react. He might become violent."

"I'm caring his child. He's not going to hurt me Edward." As I spoke the words Edward winced. I knew he wasn't excited about me having this baby, but he needed to get use to the idea. "I really should be going home, Charlie is probable frantic wondering where I am."

"I'll take you there. May I come to you tonight?"

"Yes, please come after Charlie is sleeping. You know the drill!"

I was soon home and fixing dinner for Charlie. I wasn't sure what I was going to tell Jake. I had no clue what words I could ever use to make him understand. I loved Jake, and I loved our baby. But I also loved Edward, and I needed him to respect my choice.

The doorbell rang, and Jake walked in. At the sight of him my heart sunk. This was happening faster than I had ever anticipated. He crossed the room coming up behind me at the sink. He kissed my neck and I felt a tingle pass through me. "Jake, please. Can we talk."?

"Why are you so serious all of a sudden?" he teased

"No, Jake I am serious. We need to talk." I looked away from him

"What has happened Bells? Why can't you look at me?"

"Jake, please. Just listen to me."

"What could have changed in 7 hours to make you treat me like this?"

"I had a chance to talk to Edward-" as soon as his name was said Jake began to tremble

"Bella, please don't tell me your going back to him. Not after everything he's done to you."

"Jake, the way I feel about him. It just came back. When he kissed me I-"

"He kissed you!" he growled "You are mine Bella! He knows that, we have been mated. You're caring my child. You belong to me!"

"But I love him." With those words he stared at me. The look of sadness and hurt in his eyes

"Jake, please understand. I love you Jake, but I also love Edward."

"We've made love Bella. We're having a baby. Starting our lived together. You can't have any of that with him. Do you realize that?"

I turned away from him and sat at the kitchen table. My head fell into my hands. "I cant do anything right." I mumbled to myself

I felt a pair of warm arms surround me and hold me tightly. "Bells, I only want you to be happy. I thought you were with me. I guess I was mistaken."

"No, Jake you weren't mistaken." I looked into his eyes seeing the love there "Jake, you are the father of my child. I will always love you. We are in this together."

"Please don't leave me Bells. I'll do anything if you'll only stay!" he begged

I looked at him, and then I noticed Edward had come in and was standing near the door

"Bella? Are you alright?" Edward asked

Jake growled at the sound of Edward's voice and I immediately jumped up positioning myself between the two of them.

"Stop this now both of you!" I demanded

"What have you done to her to make her leave me?" Jake said

"It was her choice. She loves me Jake and I'm not going anywhere."

They began to get closer to each other with me in the middle

"Stop it!" I screamed beginning to feel faint. I swayed, but caught myself

"Bella?" Jake reached for me "What's wrong?"

I started to cry, this was all too much for one girl in my condition to take.

"I've come to a new conclusion." As I said the words they both looked at me skeptically

"I will never make everyone happy. But right now, I'm pregnant. I need to think about the baby. So I'm going to propose a compromise."

"Please continue love." Edward urged

"I'm going to have my baby, and during the pregnancy I expect Jake to come to all of the appointments, ultrasounds etc. I want you involved in every aspect of our child's life."

"That sounds good for starters." Jake said

"Edward, I expect you to be tolerant of Jake being around me. I will need him over the next 5 months."

"Certainly Bella, what ever you wish."

"During that time, I will come to a final decision. I know this isn't ideal. But I can't take this fighting, it is making me sick! If you both cant agree to this, I will be going to Florida to stay with Renee and I wont think twice about either of you."

I looked at Edward and then at Jake. Neither one looked happy, I wasn't playing fair and I knew it. I wanted them both, but that would never happen. All of my hormones out of wack due to the pregnancy. I was more emotional than usual. Edward answered first

"Bella, I love you. I never meant to distract you or hurt you. I will honor your request. I will be tolerant of Jacob, and I will take care of whatever you might need. Just know that I'm here for you."

"Thank you Edward. I'm grateful for your understanding."

"Bells, I will be there for you and our child. I will always love you, no matter what your choice. I will try however to remind you what you loved about us and hope with all my heart that it will be enough for you to choose the baby and me. Our life together will be wonderful, we both know that." Jake reached over and kissed me on the cheek

"Thanks! Both of you, I'm just so confused right now. I thank you for allowing me peace during the pregnancy. It really means a lot to me."

The door swung open as Charlie entered the house. He seemed startled at the sight before him. Edward and Jake hovering over me. "Um- hello Jake. Edward."

"I'll see you later Bella." Edward said as he headed for the door

"I better be going too. Bye Charlie!" Jake started for the door also

"Wait! Jake, you're not going anywhere yet."

"Sir?" we all looked at Charlie curiously

"We need to talk about the wedding!"

"Wedding?" Jake questioned and then smiled slightly looking at me as I stared in disbelief.


	15. Chapter 15

**WARNING: I have changed the rating for this story to M. It should have been that rating from the beginning. I apologize for any inconvenience. Thank You!**

"Dad, what the hell are you talking about? Jake and I aren't getting married!"

"Oh yes you are. My grandchild wont be a bastard born out of wedlock."

"This isn't the 1950's Charlie. I can be a single mother, I'm not getting married and that's final."

"Bella." Jake began to speak "Maybe Charlie has a point. If we get married, the baby will have a loving mother and father. It will be legitimate in the eyes of the law and god."

I looked at the two of them. They were trying to play on the guilt I was feeling. At this moment it seemed to be working. I wanted my baby feel the unconditional love of a family. After all I did love Jake, we had made this child together in love. I would be turning my back on the only love I ever wanted. But my sacrifice would be for my unborn child whom I loved with my entire soul.

"Okay, lets do it." I said without any further argument and both Jake and Charlie looked completely astonished.

"What?" Jake managed to sputter out "You'll really marry me?"

"Yes, Jake. If you'll have me that is."

"Oh god Bella, you've just made me the happiest man in the universe." Jake pulled me into a hug

"Cant breath Jake!" I managed to say

"Sorry Bella. I just got carried away. So Charlie, how do we do this?"

"Well, just fill out this form for the license. I'll drop it off at work later, and in 24 hours a justice of the peace can marry you. It's that simple. I know Bella doesn't like a lot of fuss."

"Thanks Dad." I grinned. I really didn't care much for the institution of marriage, but it would give my baby a name and then I guess in the eyes of others I would be Mrs. Black instead of 'the knocked up whore'.

It could be worse. At least I cared for Jake, and he was good to me. He'd be a great father and husband. The only thing now was I needed to tell Edward. This would be the hardest thing I've done. I needed to be in the mind set I was before Edward had returned. Before that I did truly love Jake with no reservations. I needed to put Edward out of my head for good.

I'll tell him after the wedding, when there is nothing he'll be able to do. Edward would have to accept my choice.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. "Bella, we don't have to do this if you don't want to. You know Charlie can't force us to do anything." Jake said

"I know." And I picked up his hand and brought it to my lips, kissing it. "I know."

He turned me, and lifted my chin. I looked Jake straight in the eyes. " Bella, I will make you happy. I will protect you and our baby. You will never regret the decision you have made here today." And he kissed me lovingly on the lips

"Thank you Jake."

Soon the paperwork was filled out, and Charlie was out the door to take it down to the courthouse. "See you kids later."

"Jake, please stay with me. Don't leave me alone. I'm afraid to be alone."

"Bella, I will always be with you." He said as he picked me up and took me to my room. He lay me on the bed "Rest now Bella. Tomorrow will be a great day."

I closed my eyes, and drifted into a dreamless slumber.

When I awoke the next morning Jake was sleeping next to me. When I shifted he responded and pulled me closer to him "Morning Jake." I said

"Morning love." He kissed my cheek.

"I'm going to take a shower. Would you check with Charlie to see when our appointment is?"

"Sure thing!" he said as he jumped up and headed down stairs

I quickly showered and returned to my room where Jake informed me our appointment was for 4:00 this afternoon. I smiled at him. I just wanted to get this damn thing over with so I could tell Edward.

My phone began to ring, and I saw the number was Edward's

"Hello Edward" I said looking at Jake. He scowled

"No, I'm going to be busy most of the day."

"Dinner? No, I'm sorry I wont be able to. Look why don't I call you when I'm available?"

"Okay, Bye." And with that I hung up

"What did he want?" Jake asked

"Just wanted to spend time with me, I figure we can tell him together. After." I looked to Jake to see his response. He seemed pleased with that response.

"Yes. We'll tell him together!" he beamed

The day seemed to fly by, and before I knew it we where down at the courthouse.

Charlie and Billy where there of course. But I was surprised to see Sam and Emily. I just smiled and was in a mental fog as the justice of the peace waited for my response to his question.

"I do." I said, and I looked to Jake, who was bending down to kiss me once the official said "man and wife."

Suddenly in that blur, I had been married off to Jacob Black.

He picked me up and carried me out to the car. I looked back to see my father and Billy smiling and waving.

"Where are we going Jake?" I asked quietly

"It's our honeymoon night Bella, and I want it to be special for you."

I looked over to Jake who had picked up my hand and kissed it tenderly

"I love you Jacob Black." I said

"I love you too, Bella Black!" he smiled so wide that I felt a smile creep across my face too

We made our way to a small house on the reservation

"What is this place?" I asked

"It's our home Bella."

I looked wide-eyed at Jake, "But how?"

"You didn't think we could keep living with Charlie, or live with Billy did you?"

"No of course not, but we never talked about this."

"Don't worry about it tonight Bells. Lets just focus on us tonight."

"Alright." I conceded as he picked me up and whisked me over the threshold

He placed me on the bed, and snuggled up behind me. Placing his hand securely over my belly bump, which had been slowly increasing over the past few weeks.

"Bella." He said as he kissed my neck. "I love you, and I love our baby."

I turned to face him on the bed "Oh Jake." I looked at him and pulled my face closer to his. I traced his lips with my tongue and pushed at it for entrance. I plunged my tongue into his hot mouth, our tongues dancing together.

I pulled away and looked into his eyes. This was my husband. I was actually married to this man. Jacob Black had been the first man I had made love to, from now on he was going to be the only man. I kissed his neck gently and worked on the buttons of his shirt.

"Bella, we don't have to-" he muttered

"Shhhh." I said as I pulled his shirt from his body. He began working on my clothes as well. Soon we where both naked, and enjoying the look and feel of our bodies next to each other.

"Bella, you are so very beautiful. I am honored that you have decide to be my wife. I will be with you always. Our family will be strong because of our love, and we will be happy."

I pushed him down on the bed and ran my hands down his chest, placing kisses as I made my way down his body. I lightly began placing kisses on the tip of his penis. I swirled my tongue around the tip, and plunged it into my mouth. I traced the length of it up and down as I felt Jake's hardness growing as I continued going up and down the length of him sucking him off. He squirmed beneath me as he roared out my name "Oh GOD Bella! Oh Yes! Oh-Oh Bella!" as he came explosively in my mouth.

"That was fantastic!" He exclaimed as he pulled me to him "have you ever done that before?" He asked

"No Jake, I haven't." I whispered shyly "Did you like it? Was it okay?"

"Yes, I loved it as a mater of fact." He said pushing me back "Now let me return the favor"

I felt his, kisses on my belly as he made his way to my hot core. I first felt him nibble slightly on the lips then running his tongue between the slick wet folds. I gasped at the sudden intense pleasure I felt. No one had ever kissed me there before. I felt his tongue flick my clit and I let out an involuntary moan. "Oh Jacob…" I grasped his hair, as I suddenly felt his tongue plunge into me. It felt so hot as he pumped his tongue in and then out of me. I couldn't hold on much longer, the feeling was too intense.

"Jake, please. I need you inside of me." I begged

I noticed that he stopped licking me and spread my legs apart. He rubbed his erection against my opening.

'Is this what you want Bella?" he teased as he pushed against me ever so slightly as to enter his tip into me, and then withdraw it.

"Oh God, yes! Jake, give it to me!" I begged once more looking at him directly in the eyes as he hiked my leg up onto his shoulder and pushed himself deep within me

I cried out in ecstasy at my fulfillment. I had yearned to be filled, and as he moved within me I felt our naturally rhythm take over. I arched up to meet each of his thrusts, and the feeling was beyond elation. With a few more deep thrusts, Jake spilled into me.

We had consummated our marriage and I was utterly speechless. Jake was all I could think about; he was my world once again. I fell asleep content in the knowledge that I was where I belonged and nothing would ever make me change my mind again.

I woke up wrapped up in Jakes arms, out legs where entangled and I was exhausted.

"Morning Bells. How are you feeling this morning?"

"You tired me out last night Mr. Black." I responded

"I'll get you some breakfast."

"No. Jake, please don't worry about that. I'm not very hungry."

"You need to eat something for the baby at least."

"Do you have any fruit? That's about all I can manage this morning."

"I'll be right back!" he said, depositing a kiss on my lips

Within moments he was back with an apple. "This was all I could find."

"That will be great. Thanks!" I took the apple and began devouring it

"Not hungry you said?" he questioned me

"Well, I'm feeling a bit off this morning. I don't want to upset me stomach too much."

"I scheduled an appointment for you and the baby for tomorrow. It will just be a checkup for you two." He smiled

"Thank you for everything Jake."

"Your welcome Bells." And with that said, the phone rang pulling us back to reality

"Hello?" Jake said

"Oh, morning Charlie. Yes, she's right here. Just a sec." As he handed the phone to me

"Dad?" I asked

"You better call Edward. He's been calling here worried about you. I told him you were with Jake but that didn't seem to calm him down. You better call that boy Bella."

"I will Dad. Thanks. I'll be over later okay dad."

"Sure Bella, but don't forget. You're a wife now. You need to take care of your husband, not your old father."

"Bye dad!" I chuckled

"Everything okay Bella?"

"No Jake, I don't think it will be. Edward has been calling Charlie. We have to tell him. This is going to kill him."

"Bella, he's already dead. This isn't going to kill him!"

"You know what I meant."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Maybe we should just keep our marriage quiet for now."

"What! You don't want to tell him." He roared

"I just want to keep everything calm during the pregnancy for me and the baby. After, I'll tell him you are my choice and he'll accept it."

"This doesn't sound good to me. I think we should tell him. You are my wife now Bella, and I don't want him to get the wrong idea about our relationship."

"Jake, I know your right. It's just difficult for me." I stood up and felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I let out a whimper

"Bella?" as he reached to grab me "What is it?" his eyes frantic with worry

"Nothing, Jake. I'm fine just a small cramp."

"Maybe we should call the Doctor?"

"No, everything is fine now. Honestly." I pulled away from him and headed to the shower.

"Do you need some help?"

"I'll be fine. I've got to go back to my house for some of my things"

"If we aren't going to tell everyone about the wedding thing, maybe you should stay at Charlie's so you wont raise suspicions."

"I hadn't thought about that. I'll talk to Charlie about it. I know he won't mind you staying; after all you are my husband. Then I can help Charlie out too."

"You are so sweet and kind Bella. That's one of the reasons I love you so much. You are always so caring for others." He smiled

Within the hour we were out the door headed to Charlie's. Charlie was amenable to the arrangement and we moved Jake into the house without any further discussion. Sue Clearwater would be helping Billy out while we where away from La Push. Everything seemed to be roses.

My calm was quickly shattered when Edward knocked on the door.

Jake answered it, and I heard a growl erupt from his throat.

"Why hello Edward!" Jake smiled

"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded

"Charlie invited me to stay here during the pregnancy, so I could be close to Bella. In case she needs me."

"I can't believe he would do that. You're lying!"

"No, he's not." I chimed in

"Bella." He breathed as he crossed over to me grabbing me around the waist and kissing me without hesitation.

"Stop kissing my wife!" Jake roared

Edward pulled away from me, and chuckled. "She's not yours dog." He snorted

"The hell you say! Get away from her!" he demanded

"You two stop this now!" I yelled both of them looked to me.

"I thought we had talked about this a couple days ago. Please, no fighting. Edward, Jake will be staying here with me. You will need to accept that."

"But that wasn't part of the agreement." He said

"I know, but things change Edward. There is a very good reason for him to be with me. Please just know that."

"What is it Bella? Why cant I be the one to be with you?"

"Because I'm not your-" I stopped before I said wife and changed my train of thought "Because I'm not having your baby." I said as I saw sadness cross Edwards face. I had hurt him, but he had yet to fully comprehend the full extent of the hurt that would befall him later. I was truly evil to keep him in the dark, but I just couldn't let him go. Not just yet. I was realizing just how selfish I actually was.


	16. Chapter 16

Over the next several months Jake and I amazingly kept our secret from Edward. My baby grew bigger within me as my belly expanded. Edward stayed away clinging to the hope that once the baby was born I would chose him. Alice no longer had visions about me, because of Jake's close proximity to me. We had been waiting for Victoria, and it seemed as though Alice was wrong this time.

I was now over 7 months pregnant and Jake and I hadn't wanted to find out what we where having. We had an ultrasound appointment today to check the baby's growth and couldn't wait to see the baby. The heartbeat was strong and when the technician applied the gel, to my stomach I flinched. "Cold" is said responding to Jake's concerned look. He just smiled down at me and then we saw the baby.

It was on the monitor, the precious thing was sucking its thumb. I looked to Jake and saw a tear stream down his face. "This is amazing." Was all he could manage to say.

"Oh, Jake look at his little feet!" I said realizing I was referring to the baby as a boy. "Jake. Lets find out what were having."

"Are you sure Bells? I thought you wanted to be surprised."

"I did, but I've changed my mind. It would be nice to pick a name and began using it instead of just 'the baby' or 'it'"

"Okay!" he smiled and kissed me "Would it be possible to find out the sex of our baby?" he asked the technician

"Your wife was correct." Was all she would say

"Oh, Bella. That's my son. We're having a boy!" he hugged me the best he could "Thank you Bella. I love you!" tears glistening in his eyes

"I love you Jake."

The technician finished with the exam and we got ready to leave the hospital. "Mrs. Black?"

"Yes." I responded

"The Dr wanted you to have some blood work done as well today. If you go to the lab on the first floor, the orders will be in the computer."

"Thank you!" and we headed to the lab. The smile on Jakes face was so wide, and he wouldn't stop. He was extremely happy about having a boy. It would be a son to carry on his name, a son who may one day join the pack. I winced at that thought. I didn't want that kind of life for my child. But that was ages from now.

After the lab, we headed to La Push to see his father. He couldn't wait to tell Billy.

Jake helped me out of the car, and walked me to the house.

"It's a boy!" Jake yelled and his father looked extremely proud. His father embraced him and beckoned for me to come to him.

"Congratulations you two. A son is a great gift to have, you are truly blessed."

"Thank you Billy." I noticed Charlie emerge from the kitchen

"That is wonderful news." He smiled half heartedly I knew deep down he would have preferred to not be a grandfather yet, but he acted with tact and kindness

"Thank you Dad." As I hugged him. A knock at the door interrupted us, as Jake saw Sam waiting for him.

"Jake. We've gotta job to do." He said

"I'll be right there." Jake turned and kissed me and kissed our son "Bells, I'll be back as soon as I can. Go home with Charlie and I'll see you soon."

"Be careful Jake. We love you." And without another word he was gone.

I sat for a while talking to Charlie and Billy, but soon I felt tired. I needed to get home to rest.

"Hey dad, are you ready to go?"

"Well, actually Bella I was going to head out to do a bit more fishing with Billy. Why don't you come with us?"

"No, that's okay. I'm going to head home. I told Jake I'd catch a ride with you, but don't hurry on my account. I'll see you later."

I walked out to the car and headed home by myself. I drove with caution because I hadn't driven in a while, and especially this large. When I got home, I jumped out of the car and then noticed that the door was open to the house. I turned to get back in the car but was pulled into a cold grip

"Gotcha!" Victoria said I trembled with fear as she turned me around.

"Please let me go." I begged

"Never Bella. You have given me too much trouble to just let you go." She picked me up and ran.

I closed my eyes and was out.

I awoke much later, with Victoria staring at me

"Good morning sleepy head." She smiled

"Where are we?"

"Somewhere safe. No one will find you, so don't bother to cry out."

"What are you going to do to me?" I tried to ask calmly

"Well Bella, now that's up to you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm in a bit of a quandary. I hadn't realized you were with child."

"Please don't hurt my baby."

"Whose baby do you carry?"

"My husband Jacob's baby."

"You're married to another? What are you to Edward?"

"I'm not sure, he left me Victoria. I moved on."

"Vampires can be so difficult. One moment they love you, the next their gone."

"Exactly!" I said

"Bella, now I don't know if your death would wound Edward as I had hoped."

"I wouldn't know if it would or not." I tried to keep her talking hoping to distract her

"I've got it! I've just come up with a terribly wonderful idea."

"What?"

"It's going to be a great surprise. Even for you. I will say however, after it is all over. I guess we will all know who loves you the most." She began to laugh hysterically as I cringed. This didn't sound very good.

I had at least hoped my baby would make it out alive. Now I wasn't so sure.


	17. Chapter 17

Victoria had held me captive for several weeks and still I didn't know what she planned to do to me. I tried to ask but all she would say is 'patience dear one, soon'. That made me extremely nervous, it seemed she as though she didn't want to commit to a plan too soon.

When I woke up this morning, I was blindfolded a piece of duct tape was put over my mouth and I realized the end must be coming.

"Bella dear, I'm going to do you hair for you this morning. I know your going to just love it!"

I had no idea what she was talking about, but I rather thought I didn't have a choice in the mater. Over the next hour or so she pulled and rearranged my hair. Some type of chemical she put on my hair smelled horrid and I almost gagged. Finally she was done with my hair and she began rubbing some type of lotion on me.

"I thought you'd like to know that I've spoken to your Edward and Jacob recently." She taunted I let out a small cry

"This really is going to be perfect revenge. Edward is so concerned about you; he even offered a trade for you. He offered to take your place. Can you believe it? I said no to the offer of course. What I have planned is so much better. When I'm done with you, they'll wish I had actually killed you instead of one of the-" she trailed off with a sigh

"Oh well! Soon, you'll be at peace dear." I let out a muffled cry and grabbed for my stomach. The baby moving and the pain I felt was intense. Over the last several weeks, I had experience increasingly more pain, and I was getting worried about my baby.

"Oh, does the little baby want to come out! I just love little babies," she laughed and I shuddered at the thought of her even laying a finger on him.

"Now when we get to where we're going, I'll take your blindfold off. I don't want you to miss a moment of the fun. But unfortunately, the gag must remain. I can't have you warning you two lovers!"

What the hell was she planning? I was at a loss. Why the hell didn't she just bite me and get it over with. This was torture! Which I'm sure was her goal.

"I've laid a trail for Edward and Jacob to follow. It's so funny that they are so desperate to find you. I have assured them you are still alive. Though I'm not sure if they believe me. I really could care less if they do."

She pulled me up by my hair, and she carried me outside, and we ran. I was placed on the ground, and the blindfold was removed and my hands bound.

"Please don't try to run dear. I will not hesitate to kill you, and as you can see, there really is no place to go!" she laughed I looked out against the cliff face and down into the ocean.

"Now you just stay there like a good girl and don't turn around." She demanded, "I'm watching you." She warned. I was frightened to do anything that might agitate her further.

I heard a growl in the distance and I wasn't sure if it was Edward or Jake, suddenly I heard Victoria scream out "When you find me, I'll tell you where her body is!" That was followed by several furious growls.

"She's over there Jake, by the cliff edge, she's trying to run." Edward yelled

Within that moment I knew what was happening. The wind blew up my hair and I saw it was red, over the last 3 weeks she had changed my hair color, covered me with her scent. Victoria had never had any intention of killing me all these weeks, I was going to be killed by one or both of the men I loved most I the world. The only thing I didn't know was if it was going to be Edward or my husband Jake.

I suddenly felt claws scratch my back and I lurched forward in pain. I let out a whimper. "Where the hell is she Victoria? Where is Bella?" Edward demanded as cool arms grabbed me and spun me around. I was face to face with Edward and my wolf Jake, intense fear in my eyes as I began to fall backwards off the cliff.

The last thing I saw was realization in eyes that I was not their nemesis Victoria, but the last person in the world they would ever wished to harm. Jake had attacked me and they had just sent me tumbling into the depths of the ocean.


	18. Chapter 18

I couldn't be sure but I thought I saw wolf Jake and Edward jump in after me. Not like it would mater, I knew I was going to drown. My hands were bound and my mouth taped. As I hit the water I immediately pulled in salt water through my nose. I fell like a stone sinking towards the bottom. I was losing consciousness quickly and my only regret was that I couldn't save my baby.

I felt a tug on my arm and felt a pair of arms encase me and I began to rise upwards to the surface. "I've got her!" In the fog of my mind someone cried out and I felt myself placed gently on the ground. The duct tape was pulled from my mouth

"Oh God! She's not breathing! Not breathing! Bella honey…Bella? Wake up please honey! Oh god what have I done!" Jake sobbed pulling me into his chest

"Give her to me." Edward demanded

"You'll never touch her again you filthy leech!" Jake yelled, "Please, please…Bells open your eyes sweetheart." He begged

"God damn it Jacob, Listen to me! Give her to me, now. She needs a doctor, and out of the two of us, that would be me! Let me see what I can do for her, please Jacob."

I was pushed into complete darkness but not before I felt pressure on my chest, and I felt a tug at my arms.

When I opened my eyes, I saw both Jake and Edward watching me with concern.

"Thank god Bells!" Jake said as he kissed my forehead "I thought I'd killed you!"

I looked around confused and tried to speak, what came out was a hoarse whisper

"Where?" Was all I could manage

"Bella, your in the hospital." Edward informed me "Your injuries required medical attention as well as the baby needed to be monitored."

"Baby-okay?." I reached for my stomach and cried weakly and then the world went dark again.

"Bella honey, our baby's fine. Please honey wake up." Jake kissed my lips lightly

My eyes fluttered open to the sound of his voice. I saw him kiss my hand tenderly and place it to his cheek.

"Jake" I breathed closing my eyes as I spoke "Our baby?" I questioned waited, worried for his response

"Did someone say baby?" a female voice said and I flashed my eyes open

Jake walked over to her and took a wrapped buddle from her arms. "I would like to present to you, Gavin William Black."

"Gavin? But how-" I sputtered as I reached my arms out for him

"When you where unconscious you kept crying out to save him, to save Gavin. I know we never had a chance to finally choose a name but I thought-" I interrupted him

"Thank you Jake. He's beautiful." I said as Jake bent down to kiss me again.

"Is that the name you wanted? We can change-"

"No Jake. It's perfect, he's perfect," I said looking down at our beautiful child "When she took me Jake, all I could think about was you and our baby. Once I realized that there was no hope for me, my only concern was how I was going to keep our baby alive. Over those weeks, which I thought would be my last. I would talk to Gavin and tell him how much I loved him and how I would miss not seeing him grow up."

I was crying and I looked up at Jake and saw he was crying right along with me.

"I picked the name, because I wanted to refer to him as something more than just baby. As I spoke to him I thought of all the scraped knees and tears I would miss, I told him all of my hopes and dreams for him. My wish was only for his happiness. Praying that he would get a chance for his life to begin." I stopped and closed my eyes again "I am so grateful that I was able to see him at least. To know that he is safe."

"Oh Bella. What you must have gone through with that monster! Thank god you and Gavin are all right. I don't know what I would have done if she had…" he trailed off not wanting to complete his thought

"Jake, what happened exactly? I mean, I don't remember much of the events after she took me to the cliff. I don't remember giving birth to our son, nothing after the cliff."

"You weren't breathing, you were unresponsive. I thought you were gone. But Edward saved you." He looked down as he said, "When we got you to the hospital Gavin was in distress and they needed to perform an emergency cesarean section to save him. They are going to monitor your heart for a while. I guess it was acting up a bit during the operation. I can't remember what the Doctor called it exactly, but he said you'd be okay with lots of rest."

"Where is Edward?" I asked and I saw Jake's eyes grow sad "I just want to thank him." I added

"Bella, I need to tell you something that happened. Please don't be angry with me."

"What is it Jake? You know I could never be angry with you."

"Well, Edward sort of knows."

"Knows what?" I asked confused

"About us."

"What do you mean Jake?" I honestly couldn't grasp what he was getting at

"When we checked you into the hospital, your record for the pregnancy were under Black. I checked you in as Bella Black."

"Oh." Was all I managed to say at first

"How did he take it Jake? I mean, was he very angry?"

"I couldn't tell, he was just concerned about getting you a doctor."

"Please, where is he?" I needed to explain to Edward

"Gavin's asleep Bells. I'll take him to the nursery and I'll send Edward in."

"Thank you." I said but I hesitated letting Gavin go, almost like I felt I might not see him again. I kissed his head softly "I love you angel" I said to my precious child

Moment later Edward came in and took the place previously occupied by Jake.

He took my hand in his and held it gently.

"I've been so worried about you Bella. When she took you, I was sure you'd be killed."

"Edward, I was so frightened. I just kept waiting for her to kill me, but she wouldn't. She just kept taunting me."

"Bella. Gavin is so beautiful. You and Jacob are very blessed."

"Thank you Edward for saving us. Jake told me what you did for me. Once again I am indebted to you. I'm alive because of you, Edward."

"I would do anything for you Bella. Anything."

I started to cough violently and Edward looked at me with concern.

"Let me call for Carlisle." He reached for the button and I tried to stop him, I tried to tell him I was fine but I was unable to get any words out between the coughing.

I heard a loud beeping and turned to see my heart rate on the monitor going out of control. I looked panicked to Edward.

"Bella, please try to calm down. Your heart can't take this right now." He jumped up and ran to the door. "Jacob, she needs you." And in a flash Jake was at the door with a confused look on his face, but soon assessed the situation as was by my side.

"Bells, take a deep breath." He tried to say with a calm tone

I tried to comply, but the coughing fit wouldn't stop. I was hyperventilating and my vision began to tunnel and then suddenly the coughing stopped. Everything stopped; I looked into Jake's tear filled eyes, and then over to Edward's tortured expression. My lids closed over my eyes, and I felt nothing.


	19. Chapter 19

My eyes fluttered open, and I took in my surroundings. It was nighttime and I was in the hospital. I heard the droning of machines and looked around, Jake was asleep in the chair next to me. I watched him for a moment resting peacefully. He truly was a beautiful man, with his midnight black hair falling over his eyes. The door opened and a nurse came in and immediately came to check the machines.

She looked down at me and smiled "Good to see you awake sweetie." She whispered "You gotta good one here. He hasn't left your side."

I looked back to Jake and smiled warmly. I tried to sit up a bit, and cringed.

"Take it easy sweetie. Let me call the Doctor for you." She said as she quickly pressed the call button. "Please tell Dr Cullen that Mrs. Black is awake. Thank you."

I reached for the water cup on my side table. It was empty. "Let me get you some fresh water in the pitcher." She rushed out, of the room as Carlisle entered.

"Bella, it's good to see you up." He said as he came over to check my pulse. I held my finger to my mouth. Trying to intimate quiet. I didn't want to wake Jake from his peaceful slumber.

"Oh." Carlisle said, looking to Jake "You are very lucky Bella. We were able to stabilize your heart rhythm in time."

"Thank you" I whispered

"Your very welcome Bella."

My eyes lids fell as I drifted out a bit.

"You should get some more sleep. How is you pain level?"

"I'm a little uncomfortable, but nothing unmanageable. When can I see Gavin?"

"I'll call the nursery and let them know you would like to have him brought up." Carlisle said with a slight smile

"What is it?" I asked wondering why he smirked

"It's nothing really, its just Gavin is so perfect Bella. He is an absolute angel."

Carlisle patted my hand and left to make the call.

The nurse hadn't come back with the water yet, but I was fine. I just couldn't wait to see my baby.

With a light knock at the door, a nurse came in with Gavin. He was asleep in her arms as she placed him into mine.

"Will you be okay with him?" she asked.

"I'll be perfect." I whispered

"I'll bring his bassinet it in for you, so when you're ready you can place him in it and get some sleep." She said retrieving his little bed and placing it near me.

I just looked at the tiny bundle in my arms and smiled. He was truly precious. I held him close to my heart and kissed his head. When I did that, Gavin let out the sweetest little sound.

Suddenly Jake jumped from the chair after hearing his child, "What the-" his eyes took in the scene before him. His wife holding his baby.

"Oh, Bella!" he cried "It is so wonderful to see you awake."

I smiled at him, and with my index finger motioned for him to come here. He did as I requested and as he came close to me I pulled his face towards mine and kissed him softly on his lips. "I love you Jake." I whispered

I pulled away and looked into my eyes, I thought I saw tears. Then he kissed me, but his kiss was a bit more passionate. I melted into his mouth as his tongue caressed mine. I pulled back to take a breath and I felt my face flush.

"Sorry." He smiled as he looked at Gavin. "My dad says he has my mouth and your eyes"

"Oh, when did Billy come?"

"Both Billy and Charlie came a few days ago. I know Charlie was angry with us having a baby. But when Gavin grasped Charlie's pinky finger and held on, his heart melted."

"How long have I been out?" I asked nervously

"It's been about three days. I was really scared for a while, but Dr Cullen said everything was going to be okay."

"When can we leave?" I asked

"Well, now that your awake we should ask Dr Cullen. Hopefully soon." He smiled and I let out a yawn

"Here, let me take Gavin. You get some sleep." He took the bundle from my arms, and he looked so tiny in Jake's big arms. I couldn't wait to go home and start out life together.

Within a few days I was given the all clear to go home and I was ecstatic. I was feeling great. I was healthy and happy; I had a brand new baby and a husband who love us both. I wanted to focus on the positive from now on. I had no idea what had happened to Victoria, but I trusted that Jake would protect Gavin and me and never let any harm come to us.

Since that night I hadn't had an opportunity to talk with Edward and I was nervous to say the least. I needed to speak with him and tell him of a decision I had made.

But he never came.

I tried to call him, but he never answered. I called Alice, and once again I received no response. I had been abandoned yet again and I was crushed. I needed him like oxygen. But he never knew that. I never had the chance to tell him.

So as the time passed I came to accept the life that was now mine. At first I was distant, but once again Jake was able to pull me from the depths of my sadness. Not to mention Gavin. He was the light of my life. The two of them became my life support and together, as a family, we thrived.

Jake opened up an auto repair shop that was able to be an alternative to the high prices of Dowling's in Forks. Time passed slowly in the beginning, but soon between taking care of Gavin, Jake & helping out our fathers, several years had passed that I could never get back.

Jake was a great father and Gavin was the joy of his heart. We were happy together. Until the past finally caught up with us.

It was almost time for dinner and Jake would be home soon. I asked Gavin to wash up and I continued with preparing dinner. When the phone rang, I expected Jake on the line but there was no one.

"Hello?" I asked again and I thought I might have heard breathing "Hello? Jake? This isn't funny."

Then I heard the sound of my nightmares. It was her laugh reaching my ears and into my mind. I froze out of sheer panic and dropped the phone.

"Mommy? You okay?" Gavin asked

I quickly picked up the phone and hung it up. I picked Gavin up and hugged him tightly

"I love you G."

"I love you too Mommy!" he smiled and turned toward the sound of the opening door "Daddy!" he cried out and squirmed from my arms. Running into the open arms of his father.

I turned to the stove and faltered. I held on to the counter for support and I began to sob quietly to myself. Instantly I felt Jake's arms around my shoulders and a wave of calm passed over me. I was safe. At least for now.

"Bella what's wrong?" he asked concerned

"I can't talk about it now. Let just have dinner. After Gavin is in bed. Okay?" I said wiping my tears before turning to look at Jake in the eyes

He looked nervously at me "After dinner" he said firmly.

We ate dinner in relative silence except for Gavin's questions about animals and other things that would be of interest to a 4 year old.

Jake answered all of his questions and we all laughed together when Gavin started to make his animal sounds.

Soon dinner was over and Gavin was in bed. I hoped that I could forget about the phone call, and I also hoped Jake would forget to ask me what was wrong.

I could try to forget but I couldn't avoid Jake. He knew me too well.

"So, now what is wrong love." He said sitting beside me on the sofa

"I got a call today and it frightened me." I confessed

"Who was it from?" he tensed up

I looked down at my hands, and noticed they were shaking, Jake noticed too.

"Hey…Hey…Bella. What is it honey?" he pulled my chin up so I would look at him

"It was from her." I whispered, "She was laughing." Was all I managed to say before I heard a growl erupt from Jake

"I need to meet with Sam." He said jumping up and heading to the door.

'Please Jake. Don't go! Don't leave us alone. Not tonight." I begged

"I have to tell Sam," he said looking into my fearful eyes "I wont be gone long." He said

I turned to walk back to the sofa, but he pulled my arm so I would face him. He gathered my face between his hands and kissed me deeply.

"Everything is going to be fine Bella. I promise." He assured me. Then he was gone.

Jake was true to his word, he was back within the hour. When I greeted him I wrapped my arms around his waist and he pulled me into his warm embrace.

"Bella. I will never let her get near you or Gavin. Do you understand me?" he said as he kissed the top of my head

"We need to get away from here. It isn't safe for everyone else." I cried softly as I thought of all of the people that have been put in danger all because of me

"You look tired Bells. Let's get you to bed." He said, lifting me up easily and placing me on our bed and tucking me in. I watched as he undressed and climbed in next to me.

The feel of his body next to mine soothed me. The warmth that radiated from him had become a comfort to me and I snuggled closer to him.

He kissed my forehead first and then kissed my nose. Soon he parted my lips with his tongue almost with desperation as he deepened the kiss. His hands moved down to my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"MOMMY!" the voice cried out

I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to Gavin's room.

"I'm here honey. Everything's going to be okay." I whispered as I tried to sooth Gavin

As he drifted back to sleep he softly asked me to "make the scary lady go away."

I stumbled out of his room and I ran downstairs as I frantically checked all of the locks and windows.

Jake must have heard me because he was down almost immediately.

"Bella?" he asked concerned

"She saw him Jake! She scared him! I will not let her touch one hair on-"

"Slow down Bells. What are you talking about?"

"Gavin asked me to make the scary lady go away! She's here Jake! She wont stop till she kills me or worse."

"Worse?" he asked nervous "What could be worse?"

"If she chose not to kill me but to change me instead!" as I said the words he was horrified, I could tell from his look that he really never thought of her wanting to change me, only killing me.

"Tomorrow we are leaving." He said "we'll go somewhere far away, where she can't find you and Gavin."

The phone rang, and I jumped in fear. I watched Jake pick up the phone

"Hello?" he said in a firm tone "Hello?"

I heard a voice on the line and Jake looked over to me, suddenly he looked almost sick.

"That will never happen. I wont let it!" His voice rang out and he slammed the phone down

He moved to sit on the sofa, placing his hands over his face. I could tell he was trying to control himself. I placed my hand on his shoulder in comfort, but he shrugged me off. I thought I heard a low growl.

I took a step back in shock. He had never acted like this before. Never acted as though he didn't want me.

I quickly climbed the stairs and fell onto the bed. The tears came quickly tonight. I had been entirely open and honest with him and now suddenly he had cut me off. I had given up my dreams and made new ones all to be with him. I felt helpless…hopeless. Again.


	20. Chapter 20

When I woke up the next morning Jake had left for the day. I called Emily to see if she could watch Gavin for me while I went out. I had an appointment and really needed to be alone and clear my head.

By the time Emily arrived with her daughter, Elizabeth I was ready to just run out. I didn't want to talk today,

"Bella, I don't think you should be going out today. With everything that's going on Jake wouldn't like it."

"Right now Emily, I don't care what Jake would like. I have an appointment, I'll be back in an hour" And I ran out the door to my truck.

I made my way to the office and waited patiently for my name to be called. Within five minutes, my blood pressure had been taken and blood drawn, and was told that I would get a call later today with the results. I already knew the answer, but I just needed to be sure.

As I drove home, I thought of the future, and how are family was growing. I couldn't contain my smile. I was so happy, and I knew that Jake would be ecstatic!

When I got home, Emily looked at me with suspicious eyes, "Are you-?" she began

"Yes! Please don't say anything yet; I'm waiting for the official results later today. But I already know."

"Oh Bella, I am so happy for you and Jacob." She smiled giving me a big hug "Good luck tonight!"

"Thank you Emily! I'll call you later."

I went to Gavin's room; he was sleeping so I decided to start dinner. I wanted it to be a special night, and nothing was going to ruin this. Everything had to be perfect!

I called Emily to see if Gavin could spend the night and she said yes immediately. She knew how important tonight was going to be for us. Within the hour she had Gavin at her house and I was just waiting for Jake to come home.

I waited at first figuring he was just running late, but he didn't come. I called the shop, and he didn't answer. Now I was worried. This wasn't like Jake, especially with Victoria out there.

I called, his cell phone. Once again no answer. Maybe Sam was having them run extra patrols. But if that were the case, I'm sure Jake would have said something.

Then the phone rang. I walked over nervously and answered it.

"Hello?" I asked hesitantly

"Bella, it me. I wanted-" Jake said but I interrupted

"Oh, thank god Jake I was so worried! Did your car breakdown? Will you be home soon?"

"No, Bella." Was all he said

"Okay, so your car didn't break down, when are you coming home?"

"I'm not."

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"I can't take this anymore Bella!" he yelled into the phone and I was stunned. He never talked to me like that. "I'm going to stay at Sam's for a while. I'll stop by to pick up a few things." He hung up the phone

I felt like an idiot. Here I had been thinking everything had been perfect, and all he was doing was waiting to leave me. I ran up to our room and grabbed what I could and tossed it into a bag. I then went to Gavin's room and gathered some of his things. Jake belonged here on the reservation more than I did. I certainly wasn't going to stay where I wasn't wanted.

I heard a car pull up and Jake was in the house taking in the surroundings.

He saw the beautiful meal I had prepared and I saw his eyes sadden. Then he saw the bags. "You packed my things?" he asked

"No! I packed mine and Gavin's." I said calmly

"You should stay Bella, this is your home." He said looking at the floor

"This is no longer my home. I don't belong on this reservation. I never have!" As I said the words his eyes showed their pain "Dinner is on the table."

The phone began to ring, and I ignored it. I went back to Gavin's room to get his favorite teddy bear. I heard Jake answer the phone and he quickly called my name "Bella? It's the Dr's office. Are you okay?" he asked nervously as he held his hand over the receiver.

I ignored him and took the phone from his hand. "Hello? Yes…yes…well thank you for the call. I'll need to call another time to schedule an appointment. Thank You."

I hung up the phone and turned toward the door to leave.

"Bella? Is everything okay?" he persisted "What did the Dr want?" he asked nervously

"That's none of your concern now." I said as my voice faltered

"Bella." He said wrapping his arms around me, pulling him to him.

"Why Jake? Why are you doing this?" I begged, "I need you."

He didn't say anything, which made me feel worse. I pulled away from him and walked out the door.

I drove to Emily's in tears. My emotions were taking over and I was about to break. I had to hold it together at least until I had Gavin safely with me.

I knocked on the door and Sam answered. He took in my expression and he pulled me into the house. I sat down at the table. Placing my head in my hands, I didn't want anyone to see my like this. "I'm here to pick up Gavin." I whispered

"Emily took the kids out for ice cream. They should be back soon. Bella? Are you okay?"

"No Sam, I'm not!" I yelled looking into his surprised face " I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here. I'll wait in the truck." I said getting up, only to be pushed back down into the chair by Sam

"Bella. Please calm down. Talk to me." He said

I really didn't want to involve anyone else in my problems but I would need to explain why I was leaving the reservation.

"He's leaving me." I said

"What?" Sam said surprised "What do you mean leaving?"

"He told me he didn't want to do this anymore. I thought everything was fine. We're even having another baby, but it doesn't matter…" I trailed off in a whisper

"Your pregnant?" he asked concerned

"Yes, and I was going to tell Jake tonight. But he doesn't want me."

I looked at Sam and his eyes seemed angry. "Bella, I'm not sure what exactly is going on with Jacob. Why he is acting like this, but I promise you I will find out!"

"Don't bother Sam. Jake has said enough." I walked towards the door, totally deflated at this point. "I don't want to upset Gavin tonight. I'll come get him tomorrow. Please watch over him."

"Always." Sam said and he pulled he into a hug "Bella, if there is anything I can do-" I held up my hand to stop him

"Thanks anyway Sam. But I'm going to need to figure this out on my own." I started crying again, and ran to the truck tripping as I went.

I started up the truck and headed to Charlie's. I couldn't stay at the home I shared with Jake, Especially if he was going to be there. I heard my cell phone ringing but I didn't answer it. By the time I got to Charlie's I had at least 5 missed calls, all of them from Jake.

When I opened to door to Charlie's house he didn't seem surprised to see me.

"Jake called." He said worried as he took me in

I began to cry, and Charlie put his arms around in comfort.

"You look tired Bells. Why don't you go lay down, I'll call Jacob and let him know you're here."

"Don't call him Dad. Please just don't interfere."

"Jake seemed very concerned about you."

"I don't care anymore Dad!" I cried and ran up the stairs. I just needed to be alone.

But when I reached my room, I soon realized I wasn't alone.

I saw Alice step from the shadows and I jumped

"You scared me Alice!" I said holding my hand to my chest "Is that really you?"

"Oh Bella! It's great to see you!" she said as she gave me a hug

"What are you doing here?" I asked, "Is it just you, or your entire family."

"We are all back Bella."

"I want to talk to Edward," I said firmly

"I think that would be a great idea." She picked up her cell and made a call

"He'll be here soon." She smiled "Bella, you look incredibly beautiful if I may say so. All grown up."

"Thanks Alice." I said unsure of how I felt about that. It had been four years since they left; I had grown up, unlike them.

"Bella!" I heard Edward's musical voice behind me. I didn't turn to see him; I just took in the sweetness of his voice. The voice I had longer to hear for all of these years.

"See you soon Bella." Alice said as she left

Edward called my name again, and I still didn't turn. "Why did you leave me Edward?" I asked

"What do you mean Bella?" he asked, confusion in his voice

"When I woke up, I waited for you to come. But you never did. I tried to call you, but you never answered."

"I was told you didn't want to see me." He said

"Who told you that?" I asked nervously but I already knew the answer, it had been Jake. As Edward and I sat in silence I turned to him, looking at him for the first time in years and I began to tell him what I wanted to say years ago.

I heard his intake of breath as he took me in; I was a bit older now. I still looked the same, just a little more developed in the curve department. "If I could have said spoken to you then, I would have told you about my decision."

"What decision was that?" he hesitantly asked

"I had chosen you Edward. You were the love of my life, and I never wanted to spend even one moment without you."

Sadness swept across his face "And now?" he asked hopeful

"My choice hasn't changed. But my life has. I'm not the same person I was. You don't know me anymore." I said turning away

"Please, let me get to know you. I've never stopped loving you. You must believe me. If I had only known I would have-"

"That's in the past Edward. Lets just focus on the future." I said as my cell phone rang

I looked at the number in was Jake, " I need to take this. Sorry."

"Hel-" I began

"Oh thank god Bella! I'm so sorry, please forgive me. I only wanted to protect you." Jake rambled on

"So lying to me is how you accomplish that." I said

"What are you talking about Bells? Anyway, the Dr called back to say he called in a prescription for you. I asked him what for and he congratulated me on our new baby. I am so sorry…I'm such a shit! You made a romantic dinner and I just-"

"Stop Jake!" I yelled, "I refuse to be treated like this. You've hurt me Jake, and I just can't forget about that. Remember, you left us." I stated firmly

"But I'm sorry. Let me explain." He persisted

I looked over to Edward and I just couldn't take it anymore. Once again I was torn between the two men I loved and no idea how to get out of this one.

I hung up the phone and I walked over to Edward picking up his hand

"Why are you back now?" I asked nervously as I waited for his response


	21. Chapter 21

"We are back to help the pack with Victoria." He said calmly

"Oh" was all I could manage "Well, how is that going this time?"

"She is extremely elusive, but we will get her this time. We have to."

"Is something wrong? Has Alice had a vision?"

"Something like that." He said but he wouldn't elaborate.

"Well, then thank you for coming by. As you see I am fine." I walked out of the room and into the bathroom. I collapsed against the door and sat on the floor sobbing. Seeing him again was just too much. He was so beautiful as always I just couldn't take it. He wouldn't want me, especially now. I was alone now, Jake didn't want me anymore, and Edward didn't. But I did at least have Gavin. I would take him far away and we would live in the sun where no vampires would dare be.

But the thought of leaving Jake was too painful, just this morning everything was fine. But now… I trailed off in thought pulling myself together and headed back to my room.

I fell onto my bed in an attempt to sleep. I soon realized it was hopeless and I knew what the problem was. Jake wasn't with me.

I picked up my cell and dialed home.

"Bella?" Jake asked

"Yes, it's me Jake." I breathed

"Please let me explain everything. I'm so sorry"

"Are you still leaving us?" I asked cautiously

"I never wanted to, it's what I thought would be best"

"Well your wrong you know."

"Please come home Bella. I need you," he begged

"Was dinner good?" I asked

"Yes, it was delicious as always. Did you get something for yourself?"

"No, I didn't. I've been a bit preoccupied"

"Oh. Well, I'm coming to get you" he said firmly

"Thank you Jake." I yawned in reply

"See you soon Bells. Love you honey." He said nervously and in response I just hung up the phone.

Let him stew on that for a bit I thought as I walked downstairs to explain everything to Charlie.

Within minutes, Jake was at the doorway ducking as he entered. "Bella!" he said pulling me into a tight embrace. "Hi Charlie" he said over my head.

"Good to see you Jake. Is everything okay?" he asked with an agitated tone in his voice

"Um- yea Charlie everything-" he began but I looked at Jake and interrupted

"Dad, everything is fine. I've just been a bit emotional lately. I'm sorry to have put you out." I said

"Emotional?" he questioned with a smile

"Yes Dad." I looked at Jake and then my father "Gavin's going to be a big brother." I said happily

I looked at Jake, who just beamed. Charlie came over and gave me a hug and Jake a pat on the back. "Congratulations! But Jake you better get my daughter home so she can rest up. She looks tired."

"Yes sir!" he chuckled and picked me up in his arms

"Jake, I'm just pregnant I can walk fine!" I teased as he bent his head down to kiss me

"Good night kids!" Charlie waved from the door as Jake took me to the truck

"Where's your car Jake?" I asked curiously

"I ran, figured we could ride back together instead of coming back for the other vehicle"

"Good thinking" I said as I hit my hand to my forehead "I don't know where my mind is these days."

We drove home in silence, I was afraid to say anything that might upset him again.

"I can smell him on you." He said

"Alice came over to tell me they were back. I asked to talk to him"

"What did you say to him? If you don't mind me asking."

"I asked him why he never came back to see me that day at the hospital."

Jake was silent and I saw he was shaking slightly

"Edward was told I didn't want to see him."

"Bells, I-" Jake began

"Jake, please. I know what you said to him and I know why." I looked over to my husband and I caressed his cheek with my hand "Thank you" I said finally

"Thank you?" he stammered

"Yes, because if it hadn't been for you. I wouldn't have Gavin or our little one right here" I said placing his hand on my tummy "I love you Jake and if our roles where reversed I would have done the same thing" I said honestly

"So, your not angry at me for what I did?" he asked surprised

"How can I be angry if I would have done the same. I'm just a bit frustrated that you didn't tell me. I had to find out from Edward that my own husband had lied to me. I've always tried to be honest with you Jake.

"What are you saying? You'd rather be with that Leech than me!" He said acidly

"No Jake. Please calm down. I never had to make a choice; I've always had you. You are my life Jake. Edward was my death." I stated

"Well, when you put it like that." He smiled as we pulled up to our home

I was exhausted and as I got out of the truck, Jake helped me to the house.

"You hungry?" he asked

"No, I just want to sleep." I said crashing on the sofa yawning, "I've got to pick Gavin up in the morning." I said closing my eyelids to rest.

When I woke up I was in my own bed. I looked around for Jake but he must have already gone to work. I made my way to the kitchen to find something to eat. On the fridge there was a note from Jake.

**Bells,**

**You looked so peaceful this morning I didn't want to wake you. Don't worry about Gavin. I'll pick him up from Sam's. I'm taking the day off so we'll be home soon!**

**Love,**

**Jake**

I ran upstairs to shower and change before my family came home. It was going to be great, the three of us with an unexpected day off together.

I heard the door open, as I was finishing up with my hair

"I'll be right down!" I shouted taking one last look in the mirror and headed down the stairs.

"Mommy! Mommy! Beach! Beach!" Gavin said happily

I saw my smiling boy running for my arms and Jake chuckling as he went into the kitchen. I bent down to pick him up but as I took the weight of him I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I fell to my knees being careful to not drop Gavin.

"Jake!" I cried out

"Mommy? Get up!" he cried

Jake was next to me picking me up and rushing me to the sofa "Bella, what is it? What's wrong?"

"I'll be fine, just give me a moment" I cringed as I tried to get up

"Whoa…stay still Bells. I'm calling the Dr.," he said nervously

"No Jake. I'm fine really. The pain is gone."

"I still think you need to see the doctor."

"Lets just have a great day at the beach. Please Jake, I promise we're fine." I said holding my tummy as he reached down to kiss me.

"Okay, lets get going." He watched me cautiously get up from the sofa.

"Mommy okay?" Gavin asked

"Mommies, okay sweetheart. I love you Gavin."

"Love you too Mommy" as he hugged he with all his little might

We made it to the beach and I watched as Jake and Gavin searched for shells.

"Look Mommy what I found!" he said proudly

"That so pretty." I said as he reached his hand to take mine and we ran back to where Jake was

"Bella, you need to take it easy." He said worried

"Jake, I'm fine! Gavin wanted to show me what you guys have been up to." I smiled at them both

"We should be getting back." Jake said

"Up! Up Daddy!" Gavin said as Jake picked him up and placed him on his shoulders

We walked down the beach together as a family, the moment felt perfect. I smiled at my little family and I realized that I felt a sense of contentment. I was truly happy.

Jake's cell rang, and I pulled it from his pocket so he wouldn't need to put Gavin down.

"Hello? Jacob Black's phone!" I snickered

"Bella?"

"Yes?" I questioned

"It's Carlisle, is Jacob available."

"Yes, just a moment." I held the phone away and mouthed 'Carlisle Cullen' to him

Jake huffed and put Gavin down, taking the phone from me.

"Yes" he began

"Okay. In 5 minutes. Sounds good. See you there."

"Bella, I've got to get you and G home. The pack is meeting with the Cullen's about Victoria."

"Oh, please can I come. I haven't seen Esme or Emmett in forever."

"No, absolutely not!" he said

At that moment my cell rang, it was Alice inviting Gavin and I to come since the meeting affected us too.

"I would love to come Alice. See you soon!" I said closing the phone and seeing my husband's angry face.

"Oh come on Jake! Deal with it!" I tried to sound light, but he just let out a low growl

"I don't like this." He said " Not at all." He kept scowling

We drove the car towards the 101 and pulled over near the other vehicles assembled.

As we exited the vehicle I was swarmed by all of the Cullen's. All of them wanting to see Gavin. He warmed up to Alice and Esme right away.

He stared at Rosalie and wouldn't look away "Princess?" he asked looking at me for confirmation

I saw Rosalie's face light up when he said that. She reached out to hold him, and he went into her waiting arms "No honey I'm not a princess. I'm your Aunt Rosalie." She said smiling up at me. "He is absolutely precious Bella." She said softly

"Thank you." I said I looked over to Jake who seemed very uncomfortable with all of this.

"I think you and Gavin should stay here. Near the car incase either one of you need to rest." I looked to where the others had gathered and it was fairly close.

"Sure Sure." I said and he bent to kiss me, remembering to rub my tummy and he ruffled Gavin's hair before he joined the pack.

"This wont be long." Jake said

I smiled at all of his endearments, and I looked over seeing Edward watching me. I sat down to play with Gavin.

We began to play eye spy, and having a great time. I kept looking over to the group but seemed to catching Edward's gaze. I couldn't help but blush. Soon Gavin was up to walking around a little. So I began to rise after him.

I saw him take off a bit towards the car, and I moved towards him. Then I saw what he was doing. I watched as my son, followed a beautiful butterfly thru the air. He was moving towards the open road and I was slow to follow him

"Look Mommy Bubbrfly!" he said not paying attention to his direction.

I had to act fast. I started to run towards him and the road. Please god I begged I must not fall.

"GAVIN!" I screamed out to him as he walked into the road. He turned to me as I dashed out and scooped him up as a semi truck passed by missing us by inches.

It all happened rather slowly. From behind me I heard Jake scream my name, I heard Edward do the same. But it was too late when I scooped him up I dove for the other side of the road. Falling so my child was on top of me. protected within my grasp, hoping to save him from injury. My head smacked a boulder on the side of the road.

I fell into blackness, it was all consuming but I fought thru. I needed to see if Gavin had been hurt. I tried to open my eyes, but nothing happened. I could hear my name that was a good sign I thought briefly.

I tried again and I saw light and shadow, soon the face came into focus. It was Jake's tear wet face

"Bella! God…please Bella…not now!" he cried. I felt his tears fall to my face.

"Ga-vin" was all I could sputter out

"Bella! Please Bella! Stay awake. Carlisle?" I heard Edward's sweet voice drift in my ears

"Ga-vin okay?" I managed

"Oh Bella, he's fine. Not even a scratch. You saved him! You saved our son!" Jake sobbed "Your going to be okay too Bella. Just hang on. Please. I love you."

I felt a tremendous wave of pain roll over me and I grimaced in pain. The darkness was pulling me back, if felt it come as my eyes fluttered, I tried to fight a little longer, but it was over.

"I love…you-" I was enveloped into total darkness once more


	22. Chapter 22

**Jacob's POV**

I watched my beautiful wife and my son surrounded by the bloodsuckers and I needed to keep control. It took everything I had not to pull them away. I noticed that the pack was gathering and I asked Bella to stay near the car with Gavin. I was worried about her after this morning and I wanted her to take it easy. I was filled with happiness at the prospect of having another child with Bella. I gave her a light kiss and touched her belly. Smiling at her, I then ruffled Gavin's hair and then joined the group.

I had initially thought that this wouldn't take long, but I was surprised at how tedious changing a few boundaries could be. The Cullen's wanted to have the capability of crossing the boundary if they where in pursuit, but Sam wouldn't budge.

Suddenly my heart sunk as I turned toward the horrific sound of Bella's voice frantically calling out for our son.

"GAVIN!" she screamed hysterically as I took in the situation. I saw Gavin up on the road, and Bella rushing out to grab him. I then saw the Semi truck headed for them.

"Bella, NO!" I cried out, as I raced with Edward who responded in the same way I had.

I saw her dive across the road with Gavin in her arms as the Semi passed. They made it! I thought. Thank God they're okay.

Edward and I darted across the road, and I saw Gavin pulling himself from Bella's embrace.

"Wake up mommy!" he said touching her face. She didn't respond

Gavin looked up at me and my heart broke "Daddy, mommy wont wake up" he said

Faster than I could imagine, I had Gavin in my arms, his face to my chest as I looked down and saw Edward hovering over Bella. I wanted to let out a growl of warning. Soon the others were here and Sam immediately took Gavin from me so I could check on Bella.

As Sam took Gavin away, I heard him cry out." Mommy! I want my mommy!"

I fell to my knees to check on my wife. She had been moved so she was laying flat. I saw the boulder smeared with her blood.

"Carlisle, when will she wake up" Edward asked nervously

"Bella honey, please wake up. Don't do this. Not now! Please god no!" I cried holding her limp hand to my cheek.

"Ga-vin" she spoke softly

"Bella! Please Bella! Stay awake. Carlisle?" Edward said

"Ga-vin okay?" she spoke again

"Oh Bella, he's fine. Not even a scratch. You saved him! You saved our son!" I was crying. This was typical Bella, always concerned for everyone but herself. She was the best person I knew. She had saved our child and now endanger of losing her own life in the process "Your going to be okay too Bella. Just hang on. Please. I love you."

I watched her face showed the true extent of her pain. Her eyes fluttered as If she where desperately trying to keep them open.

"I love…you-" she breathed and then fell silent

I looked at her beautiful face, "Bella, please wake up. Your alright… your alright…your going to be fine. Bella?" I looked over to Edward and Carlisle

"Please, tell me she'll be okay." I begged "Carlisle, please tell me."

"Jacob, we need to get her to the hospital. But, I don't think anything is going to help-" his voice trembled a bit at the end

I took in Edward's expression as he looked at his father, looking for a hint of falsehood in his eyes. There was none.

I looked at my love, the mother of my children…child. There would be no others now. I cried for my Bella as I pulled her to my chest. "Thank you Bells, for loving me. Thank you for Gavin." I broke down as I held her. I looked up at Edward and watched the sadness in his eyes. It was a sadness we both shared. I suddenly thought back to Bella's words.

"**I never had to make a choice; I've always had you. You are my life Jake. Edward was my death"**

"Edward, please." I said looking at him "Please save her."

"Jacob, I – I can't, she wouldn't want-"

I couldn't believe I was saying this. "Edward. She loves you, she always has." I admitted

"I don't know." He looked towards his family

"Edward, if you're going to do it. It needs to be soon. She's barely hanging on." Carlisle said

"Please Edward, you need her as much as she needs you." Alice chimed

I watched as he wrestled with this decision in his mind. He looked at me, holding her.

"May I?" he asked reaching for her, looking at her longingly with such love and affection

I kissed her lips softly, and handed my dearest love over to my enemy.


	23. Chapter 23

**Edward's POV**

I held my dearest love in my arms, dying.

How could this have happened, I thought to myself. One moment she was fine, laughing and happy. The next, unconscious and bleeding.

She made the ultimate sacrifice for another human being. By saving the life of her son, she forfeited her own.

My mind was mottled when Jacob begged me to save her. I wanted nothing more than to do just that. But could I? Did I posses the strength? I wasn't prepared. What if-

"Edward, you must hurry. Are you capable?" Carlisle asked

"I don't know if-" I hesitated

"Give her to me" he said softly

I shook my head, if anyone was going to do this to her, it would be me.

I looked into Carlisle's eyes "If i-" I began, but was quickly interrupted by Alice

"Edward, it will be fine. You will do fine." She assured me.

I placed my head against her chest taking in the sound of her now dying heart. I pulled her hair, exposing her neck. Quickly preparing myself, for the taste and feel of the blood. My teeth grazed her neck as I caught the sight of Jacob looking on horrified. I pulled away slightly. Would she really want this? I thought but without answering my silent question, I sunk my teeth into her flesh.

The sweetest nectar I had ever tasted streamed into my mouth. It was pure ecstasy.

I felt the hand of my father gently grasp my shoulder. It took all of my control to extricate myself from her neck.

Jacob moved closer to her and brushed the hair from her forehead. At his touch her eyes flew open and searched his face as she winced in pain.

"Why?" she croaked

"Because I love you Bella." Was all he said. She closed her eyes but continued to grimace.

"We need to take her back to our house. Somewhere out of sight." Carlisle exclaimed

"Jacob, you are welcome to come and stay with her." Esme said lovingly

"I need to check on Gavin. He wont understand what's happening." He stated "Also, Carlisle, I'm going to need your help explaining this to Bella's father" he spoke, trying to hold back the tears.

"I understand" Carlisle said "Edward you Emmett and Alice take Bella to the house. Esme and I will go with Jacob and report the accident to Charlie."

"What can I do? Rosalie asked quite uncharacteristically

"Rose, please take Jasper with you hunting. Over the next few days we will need to keep our strength up."

"May I come check on her later?" Jacob asked

"Of course you may" Carlisle didn't hesitate to respond

Bella was now whimpering louder and beginning to thrash around. Jacob kissed her softly. "I'll see you soon. I love you." He said, quickly turning around with Carlisle and Esme

I pulled her closer to me and took off running through the woods. "Bella, we are almost home." I spoke the words as calmly as I was capable

"Edward" she cried out in pain

"Bella, I know it hurts. But it will be over soon. I promise."

As we approached the house, I noticed several wolves running towards us. They weren't here in hostility. They just wanted to see for themselves how Bella was doing. I ran past them into the house. I took her up to my room and placed her on the bed.

I waited for Alice as she brought Carlisle's bag to me. I would give her some morphine for the pain. So far she was controlling herself fairly well but I knew that wouldn't last long.

Alice was soon beside me, syringe in hand. I checked the amount and plunged it into her arm.

Bella opened her eyes and looked at me. For a moment, I got lost in her eyes and we were locked together.

I was able to tell when the morphine kicked in, because her eyes became heavy with sleep and closed.

"Alice?" I asked nervously

"She's going to be fine." As she spoke those words, I relaxed a bit.

Alice took Bella's hand and I wanted nothing more that to take it back and hold her in my arms. Alice looked at me sharing her thoughts

_Carlisle and Jacob are walking in the front door. I don't think it would be a good idea for you to be clinging to Jacob's wife right now. When he sees her, we need to make this transition as easy as possible on Bella and that does not include you killing her husband._

She was right of course, so I took a place at the foot of the bed as they entered the room.

Jacob initially rushed over to her but stopped. His thought confirmed to me Alice was right. He was grateful that I was giving Bella her space and not relishing in my victory as he saw it.

At his last thought, I couldn't truly be angry, he was right. In his mind I was going to have her forever just as I wanted. But in this situation there were no winners. Bella was losing her life.

"Is she okay?" She looks so peaceful?" Jacob asked

"We gave her some morphine for the pain, she appears calm now but she is in excruciating pain. There is no doubt." Alice said as we watched Bella trash in pain

I watched Jacob take in the surroundings, and notice everyone who was with her.

"How is Gavin?" Alice asked in an effort to include Jacob

"He is very confused right now. He keeps asking for Bella. Emily told him she is sleeping and he seemed to calm down a little after that." He said with a heavy sigh

"And Charlie?" Alice asked Carlisle

"Right now he is in shock. We told him how she saved Gavin, and he broke down at that point." Carlisle said looking to Esme

"It's a terrible thing to lose your child" Esme spoke softly "I only hope Bella will understand and forgive us for what we've done."

"What do you mean Esme?" Alice asked confused

"Well, I mean she gave her life to save Gavin and now we are giving her a new one. A life where she will inevitably have to watch Gavin die of old age. Her grand children, everyone she loves all dying while she remains 21 forever" she looked over to me with sadness in her eyes "Lets just hope she can forgive us someday"

Jacob looked heartbroken; I could tell that those thoughts had not entered into his mind when he wanted her saved. He hadn't thought ahead of the ramifications, or how Bella would feel. None of us had.

Over the next days I watched as he lovingly stroked her hair as she writhed and cried in pain. How I wished I could take his place. I wanted to comfort he and hold her. I watched with envy until this moment.

'Carlisle! Her breathing is slowing." Jacob called out nervously. The rest of us knew what that meant, but Jacob did not.

"Her heart will stop soon," Carlisle said quietly

Jacob just acknowledged the information with a nod and held her hand lying down next to her, placing his head on her chest. Listening as the beats slowed slowed and then ebbed into nothing.

He began to sob uncontrollably as her heart no longer registered a beat.

"Goodbye my love, I will take care of our precious son and remind him everyday how much his mommy loves him." And with that said he kissed her hand and moved off the bed. Walking over to me.

"Please Edward take care of her, love her make her happy." He said, not meeting my eyes.

As I felt his sadness and remorse through his thoughts, I was pained for his loss.

"Jacob, I will always be here for Bella and so will my family. We love her like a sister and a daughter. She will be safe with us." I refrained from declaring my love for Bella. Jacob's control was holding on by the thinnest of threads and I didn't want to make him snap

"Thank you" he said as he stood at the door. Not really wanting to leave her but knowing that he must.

Soon the transformation would be complete and it would be best if he were not here.


	24. Chapter 24

**Edward's POV**

Later when she opened her eyes, I saw the utter confusion and sadness on her face.

"What happened?" she asked softly

"Bella" I breathed

"Edward?" What am I doing here?" she said taking in her surroundings

"You had an accident, you were dying."

"Y-You changed me." She stated

"Yes."

"Oh." Was all she managed as she got up slowly and walked to the window, looking out into the forest.

I wish I could read her thoughts, what I would give to know if I did the right thing. I walked up behind her, touching her shoulder gently. Her hand reached up for mine, resting on the top briefly.

"May I take a shower?" she asked in an automatic tone

"Certainly" I answered as the door opened and Alice entered

"Bella, I have some clean clothes for you when you're done with your shower."

"Thank you." Bella responded with a forced smile crossing her lips and she walked to the bathroom

I looked at Alice questioning, "She's going to be fine Edward. Eventually"

After a few minutes I realized I hadn't heard the water running. I knocked on the door, "Bella? Is everything okay?" she didn't respond

I opened the door and just saw her staring in the mirror. "Is this really me." She asked confused, touching the mirrored reflection with her fingertip. The glass shattered at her touch.

She appeared stunned momentarily, but then sat on the edge of the tub and slowly turned on the water.

"Alice and I will be right outside if you need anything."

She nodded and I left.

30 minutes later she emerged from the bathroom, clean and dressed in the clothes Alice had chosen for her.

"Bella, you look beautiful" Alice said happily and placed a kiss on her cheek

I agreed with Alice, but I was unable to take my eyes of the beauty that they beheld.

"I'd like to talk to Carlisle if that is possible." She asked looking between the two of us

"I think he is in his study." Alice volunteered taking Bella's hand and leading her out of my room. As they left me behind, Bella looked back at me for a moment and then they were gone. I wanted to take her in my arms and never let her go, I wanted to kiss her like I never had before. But I had to control my urges until I knew that she wanted me too.

I heard the rest of my family's thoughts as Alice escorted Bella to Carlisle.

_Damn she's looking fine- Emmett_

_Thank god she isn't human anymore, the blood was really getting to me- Jasper_

_It's so good to have my daughter back-Esme_

_Poor Bella, to have that beautiful child and now its all been taken from her. She must wish she were really dead- Rosalie_

_Shopping! Shopping! - Alice_

_Oh Lord, how can I stay away from her now. She is magnificent. No! Think of Esme, think of Esme! -Carlisle_

I was stunned by Carlisle's thoughts. I had never heard him think of Bella in any other way except as my companion. I headed down the stairs, to find Bella before she spoke to Carlisle, but she was already in his study. I needed to stay calm; I would need to ask him about this soon.

**Bella's POV**

Initially when I woke up, I was confused. But then suddenly the weight of my new life pressed upon me. I looked around to find Edward. Always Edward, so faithful and loyal, was waiting for me to awake. My thoughts and feelings where all mixed up.

"What happened?" I asked though I already knew

"Bella" Edward breathed

"Edward?" What am I doing here?" I looked around, and realized I was at the Cullen's

"You had an accident, you were dying."

"Y-You changed me." I stated flatly

"Yes."

"Oh." I said, as I slowly got up and walked to the window, looking out into the forest.

"May I take a shower?"

"Certainly" Edward answered as the door opened and Alice entered

"Bella, I have some clean clothes for you when you're done with your shower."

"Thank you." I said trying to smile politely and went into the bathroom

When I looked in the mirror, it was almost as if I didn't recognize the person staring back at me.

There was a knock on the door, "Bella? Is everything okay?"

The door opened "Is this really me." I asked confused. I touched the reflection with my fingertip. The glass shattered.

I moved to sit on the edge of the tub and slowly turned on the water.

"Alice and I will be right outside if you need anything."

I nodded and then he was gone.

I stripped my soiled clothes from my body. I felt as though a metamorphosis was taking place. I was shedding my old life, leaving everything I knew and loved behind me. Just to take on this new skin, a new existence that I felt forced to live. I would grow to accept this new lot in life just as I always had. But the thought of never seeing my son again, or my Jacob, well that cost was too great.

The hot water hit my cool skin, washing away what I was. Leaving me how I am. Cold, heartless stone.

I dressed and saw Alice waiting for me.

"Bella, you look beautiful" Alice said happily and placed a kiss on my cheek

Edward seemed to agree with Alice, but then he just kept staring at me.

"I'd like to talk to Carlisle if that is possible." I asked looking at both of them

"I think he is in his study." Alice volunteered taking my hand and pulling me to the hallway, as we left I turned to look at Edward, I saw his beautiful face watching me. I turned back, as we headed down the stairs. The rest of Edward's family watched me with cautious eyes. I wish I knew what they were thinking.

Alice took me to Carlisle's office and then left. I knocked on Carlisle's door.

"Come in" he said kindly

I opened the door, and as I entered I heard his intake of breath. I moved to sit down in a chair and his eyes followed me. "Bella" he said hoarsely

"Good to see you too Carlisle." And I laughed at his reaction


	25. Chapter 25

I crossed the room, feeling his gaze on me as I took a seat across from him. I watched him watching me with unexpected eyes.

"So, what can I do for you?" he asked nervously "You've been told what happened I presume?"

"Yes, I know what has happened. I know what I've become. I will need to accept this. But I really want to get out and hunt. I want to concentrate on taming my thirst so I can see my son again."

He seemed surprised at my response. "Bella, I'm not sure if you really grasp the idea that you may never be able to see your son again."

I looked at him, worry in my eyes "But I have to. He need's me." I demanded

"That may be so, but the wolves surely will not let you come back. That may include seeing your son; you see they can't risk it. They can't trust you not to harm anyone. Yet"

"May I use your telephone?"

"Who will you call Bella? Charlie has been informed of your death. Jacob left you with us-"

"That I cannot believe!" I said reaching for the phone, but he stopped me

"Think about this Bella, you need to accept that your life is with us now. You are a member of my family" he smiled softly "I will always take care of you."

I looked at him with confusion in my eyes. "Please, let me talk with Jake. Let him know I'm fine."

"Certainly." He conceded and motioned to the phone

I quickly dialed the number and heard a voice I hardly recognized answer the phone

"Hello?" Jake said with such a melancholy tone, it tore me up

"Jake." I managed

"Oh Bel-" he stopped, pausing for a moment "You're awake?"

"Yes, Jake. How are you- How is Gavin?" I sputtered out quickly

"I can't talk about this right now" he said

"Someone is there?"

"My father is here to play with Gavin."

"Does Billy know what happened? To me I mean?"

"I haven't told him exactly, but he suspects. Listen, I need to go. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye Jake" he hung up the phone briskly "I love you" I mumbled under my breath.

I hung up the phone, I felt utterly dejected. I was about to slump into the chair again, but I felt Carlisle wrap his arms around me and pull me close.

"Everything will work out Bella. You just need to be patient." He said reassuringly

"I know, it's just hard to-" I began

The door burst open and I pulled away to see Edward glaring at Carlisle

"Get your damn hands off her!" Edward shouted at Carlisle who looked taken aback by this attack

"Edward, what is wrong with you!" I asked as he pulled me away from Carlisle.

"If you ever think those thing again-" Edward was angry

"You'll what?" Carlisle interrupted "What would you do Edward?"

"Would someone please explain what is going on?" I yelled innocently

"Alice." Edward called, and soon she was at my side

"Bella, please go with Alice, there is something I need to speak to my 'father' about."

"Bella, come on." Alice said pulling me with her. I was so confused by what was taking place; I just needed to get away from the confrontation. I went willingly with Alice not sure why Edward so angry with Carlisle, and wondering when I could talk to Jake again.

**Edward's POV**

I waited not so patiently while Bella spoke to Carlisle. I was hoping that I had misheard his thoughts. Nothing else he had thought since was really out of the ordinary. Until, he touched her. I jumped and ran to his office and flung the door open.

_Oh God she feels so soft in my arms, She really is sweet. -Carlisle's thoughts betrayed him_

"Get your damn hands off her!" I shouted at Carlisle who initially seemed surprised by my actions, but then I saw a small upturn of his lip, as if he were smirking

"Edward, what is wrong with you!" Bella asked confusion in her eyes, as I pulled her from Carlisle's grasp

"If you ever think those thing again-" I growled

"You'll what?" Carlisle interrupted "What would you do Edward?"

"Would someone please explain what is going on?" Bella cried in agitation

"Alice." I called, and soon she next to Bella

"Bella, please go with Alice, there is something I need to speak to my 'father' about."

"Bella, come on." Alice said taking Bella's arm who seemed hesitant to leave, but then thought the better of it and left.

I turned to Carlisle and looked at him with a disgusted expression

"What would make you think these things about Bella? She's like a daughter to you." I asked confused

"First thing Edward, she isn't my daughter. And most importantly, I am a man Edward. She is a very beautiful creature, I can't just ignore that, I never could"

"Bu-But Esme-" I stammered

"What about her Edward? You misunderstand me Edward." He laughed lightly "Just because I have thoughts about Bella, doesn't mean I would ever act on them. It's a little thing called restraint. You should know all about that."

"How long have you had these thought's about Bella?" I asked, not really wanting to know

"I don't think this is a good idea." He responded

"Tell me!" I raised my voice

"Well if you must know, it was her disastrous 18th birthday."

I looked into Carlisle's eyes and waited for him to elaborate, he took the hint and continued

"When you could no longer handle the scent of her blood, and had to leave just like the rest of them. As I stitched her arm, I saw how brave she tried to be; how her sweet little mouth would pout and pull into a slight grimace as I worked to close her wound. She was pure and innocent, so accepting of what we were so trusting. Bella was a very special and unique girl, but she is a woman now. My soul ached for her pain; I wanted to remove it, to take it away from her. But then you asked us to leave so she could have a chance at a normal life, that was the first time I felt as though you didn't deserve such a creature as Bella. You were breaking the trust or bond that you two had formed, you were utterly cruel."

I watched the emotion cross his eyes as he spoke of the past; I winced away at his final words.

"Edward, she is now one of us but I must inform you that she seems intent to go back to her family. At least that seems to be her wish."

This was a surprise to me, I thought that she would just accept this new life and choose to be with me. "But they wont let her back, will they?" I asked hesitantly

"First she needs to hunt. Edward, you and Alice should take her out as soon as possible. While your out, I will contact Jacob and the pack to discuss the possibility of her returning. We already know what their answer will be, but Bella will not accept it from us, she will need to hear it from Jacob."

I nodded in agreement. I knew that she would take it hard, but it had to be done. The sooner she acknowledged her new life the better for everyone.


	26. Chapter 26

**Jacob's POV**

I have been in a fog of misery since leaving the Cullen's house. I couldn't face Charlie, and seeing Gavin just broke my heart even more.

My father came by to check on us. He seemed a bit preoccupied with something, but I just couldn't bother with that right now. I gave him the same story I told Charlie. But Billy didn't seem to buy it entirely. He kept watching me with a suspicious eye.

Gavin and Billy were reading books when the phone rang. The last thing I wanted to here was another sympathy call. I almost didn't answer the phone. But I thought the better of it.

"Hello?" I managed

"Jake." She said

"Oh Bel-" I stopped, pausing for a moment "You're awake?"

"Yes, Jake. How are you- How is Gavin?" she said quickly

"I can't talk about this right now"

"Someone is there?" her tone hurt

"My father is here to play with Gavin."

"Does Billy know what happened? To me I mean?" she questioned

"I haven't told him exactly, but he suspects. Listen, I need to go. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye Jake" she said and as I hung up the phone I heard her say, "I love –"

I broke down in tears. Four days ago, our lives were perfect. But now, my wife was 'dead'; my son would never have his mother. I was falling apart.

"Jake, there's something I want to talk to you about." Billy said in his serious tone

"Dad, right now isn't a good time." I said

"Right now is the perfect time." He looked to me and I saw Gavin had fallen asleep. I quickly picked my son up and took him up to his room for a nap.

I hesitated talking with Billy, he would see through my lies easily. As I entered the living room Billy turned to look at me "Jake, please tell me what really happened to Bella."

I told him that Bella did in fact save Gavin, but she was dying and I begged for the Cullen's to save her. By the time I was finished I was sobbing, but Billy kept calm.

"When is she coming home?" he asked

"What do you mean Dad? She is one of them, she wont be allowed on the reservation." I said shocked that my father would even mention her

"She's your wife. Gavin's mother." He stated firmly

"But she's a-a vampire." I could barely say the word

"There is something I need you to remember Jake." He said

I looked at him confused

"Do you remember when your mother left?" he said, "Of course you wouldn't, you were just about Gavin's age," he mumbled

I shook my head; he never brought up the mention of my mother. I was now curious where this conversation was headed.

"Rachel and Rebecca were older, they remember her a little. She was the best woman in the world, the love of my life. She loved you kids so much." His voice cracked as he spoke of her "So very much. She never wanted to leave."

"Then why, why did she go?"

"The tribal elders wouldn't allow her to stay." He looked away from me; shame in this eyes "I didn't fight for her. Sarah told me she could handle it, that we would be safe."

"What are you talking about?" I was confused

"Your mother was attacked by a vampire Jake."

"She was killed?" I whispered

"No, she was changed son. She promised she would live like the Cullen's, on the diet of animals. But they, the elders wouldn't listen." He looked at me now "I stood by and let them banish her, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret not fighting for her."

"How did I not know any of this?" I was stunned at his confession

"You were so young, it was hard on everyone. But I felt it was time you needed to know."

My father had given me a lot to think about. Would it be possible for Bella to stay with us? I was given a glimpse of hope for my family.

I needed to fight for Bella; I wanted her in my life always. I didn't care what she was now. I loved her and always would.

The phone rang, and I answered it hastily hoping it was Bella.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Jacob. This is Carlisle Cullen, there is something we need to discuss with you"

"What is it?"

"Bella has asked to see Gavin. Once she has control of her thirst of course. We told her that it may never be possible, and we think it would be best if she heard it from the pack about the boundaries that are expected."

"Well, I'm glad that you have mentioned that. I will need to speak with the pack, but I would like to talk to Bella about coming home, once she feels she is in control of her 'thirst' as you call it."

"I'm sorry what?" Carlisle seemed surprised "I was sure she wouldn't be-"

"I love her, and I am going to try my hardest to get her back where she belongs."

"She is where she belongs. With us." He raised his voice in frustration

"I will stop by to see her tomorrow if I may." I informed him

"I'll let her know. Goodbye Jacob." He said abruptly

"Goodbye" I hung up the phone. I soon realized that getting her back was going to be harder than I anticipated.

**Carlisle's POV**

"She is where she belongs. With us."

"I will stop by to see her tomorrow if I may." Jacob informed me

"I'll let her know. Goodbye Jacob." I ended the conversation abruptly

I hadn't expected that reaction. What was that boy thinking? He wanted to still keep Bella, after she had been changed. Surely the pack would not allow it. I needed to inform Edward of this new development. I hope he will be able to contain his frustration in front of Bella at least.

I picked up the phone and dialed Edward.

Within the first ring it was answered. "Yes?"

"Edward, I think that we might have a problem."

"What kind of problem?" he asked

"It appears that Jacob Black is not so ready to give up on his wife, even though she is a vampire."

"What the hell are you talking about? He left her with me, told me to take care of her. To love her and make her happy, what kind of game is he playing at!"

"Apparently he has changed his mind. He wants to see her tomorrow." I informed him

"No way! I'm taking her to Denali. tonight. I will not let him lay one filthy paw on my Bella ever again!"

"Then I suggest you come home and pack now, before it's too late."

"We will be home within the hour. Bella is doing a phenomenal job hunting!"

"I'm glad to hear it. I'll see you soon. Bye"

Once I hung up the phone, I needed to inform the family about Edward and Bella's decision to go to Denali. I only hoped that they could get out of here in time to evade the wolves.


	27. Chapter 27

**Bella's POV**

Hunting was something that was truly an art. I would need a lot of practice to perfect my technique. But on the whole, I felt it went fairly well.

I looked to see Edward on the phone. I came over to me and immediately took my arm.

"Bella, that was Carlisle. He thinks it would be best if we left for Alaska sooner rather than later."

"But, I thought we were staying. At least for a while-"

"Bella, everyone thinks your dead. You need to disappear for a while, just until it's safe to return."

As he spoke the words, they made perfect sense. But I still needed to talk to Jake. I wanted to say goodbye properly. "Edward, before we go I need to speak with Jake."

"Bella, that's not a good idea. You need to distance yourself from all of them right now. It will help you adjust to your-"

"Damn it Edward! I don't want to just adjust. I want to speak to my husband!" I yelled

"He isn't your husband anymore." Edward practically whispered

"He most certainly is!" I retorted

"Till death us do part? You my darling are dead." He said harshly

I pulled away, stunned by his hurtful words.

"Bella, I'm sorr-" he began, as he knew he'd hurt me

I held a hand up; I couldn't listen to him anymore. I had to speak to Jake; I wasn't going to leave my family without an understanding.

"Bella, we need to get back to the house. We need to leave-"

"I'm sorry Edward, but I wont be going anywhere with you." He looked pained as I spoke the words " At least not yet." I added

"You're a vampire! He doesn't want you anymore. I know it's harsh, but it's the truth. What Bella, did you think you could just go back to the reservation. Do you think Emily or any of them would trust you with their children again? Hell, Jake wont even trust you with Gavin!"

"It can't be true. He knows I would never hurt-" I looked away. Edward was right, he always was. "What ever Edward. Lets just go. I don't want to keep the others waiting."

"Bella, you misunderstood. It's only going to be us. The others need to stay for a while, to maintain the cover."

He came over and took my hand, we ran back to the house to pull some things together for our trip.

When I saw Alice, I saw a look of guilt on her face. As I tried to ask her what was wrong, Edward pulled me up the stairs with him.

"I just want to talk to Ali-"

"You'll have plenty of time later. But right now, we need to go."

"What is the hurry Edward, God I feel like I'm being forced to leave."

"No, no" he smiled " We just need to get on the road, that's all"

"Edward, I know you're keeping something." I accused, and he tried to look hurt "Knock it off Edward."

"I'm sorry Bella, but when Carlisle called, we just thought it would be best to go to Denali, so you can start honing your skills. That's all."

I looked at him with suspicion, there was something else but he wasn't going to tell me.

I sat down on the couch in Edward's room and placed my head in my hands. I suddenly felt Edward touch my hands

"Bella, Love what's wrong?" he asked nervously

"I've missed that." I replied

"What have you missed?"

"You, calling me your love."

"Bella, you have always been the dearest thing to me. I have only wanted the best for you." He said, stroking my cheek

I let out an involuntary moan as his hand traveled down my neck. He looked at me in shock that I was responding to his touch.

'Bella, I want you." Was all he managed "I've waited so long for you."

"Edward, please. It's going to take me some time." I confessed

"But I love you and you love me. We are perfect for each other." He continued as he kissed my cheek.

"Stop please. I can't do this now. I need to talk to Jake. Please. I need to tell him we are leaving." I got up and reached for the phone

"Bella, please don't"

"Why not Edward? What is it your not telling me?"

"I just don't want to see you hurt, that's all Bella. He's going to hurt you, and I want to protect you."

"Edward, please don't worry about me. I've been through a lot. I will be fine with this too." I reached for the phone again, and this time he didn't stop me.

I dialed the number, and got the voicemail. I quickly handed it to Edward, I was dead after all I couldn't leave a message.

"Jacob, this is Edward. I was calling to let you know we are leaving. We wanted to see you before we left, but it will be better this way. Good bye." He said beginning to hang up

"Tell him I love him!" I urged

"You are…um…loved," he said quickly, hanging up the phone

'Please don't ever make me do that again. That was torturous!"

'Sorry, I just didn't want Gavin, Billy or Charlie to hear my voice. It would confuse Gavin and upset the others." I looked into Edward's face seeing only love there "Thank you Edward, I know that was difficult for you."

"You have no idea!" he chuckled "Let's go"

"I just want to say goodbye to Alice before we go."

"I'll put the bags in the car and meet you outside" he said hesitantly and I headed to Alice's room

"Hey Alice!" I said as I knocked on the door

"Bella." She breathed. I noticed that she seemed distracted

"Are you okay Alice? You don't seem yourself."

"Bella, please just always remember that he loves you very much." She said, as she turned away, sad

"Alice, what do you mean?" I asked. She seemed troubled and that was a bit cryptic.

"Bella!" Edward called from the foyer and I turned to leave

"I'll see you soon Alice." I smiled and ran down the stairs to Edward

"Everything okay?" he said. His eyes drifting towards the staircase

"Fine I guess. Alice just seemed..off"

Carlisle, Esme and Jasper came out to say goodbye. I gave them each a hug. As I hugged Carlisle, I thought I hear a growl erupt from Edward. But I must have been imagining it.

"See you soon." I said heading to the car

Edward opened my door, and I looked up at the house, I noticed Alice was watching me from her window. I got in the car and soon we were speeding away from Forks.

Eventually we stopped for gas, and as Edward was paying his cell phone rang. Out of instinct I picked it up.

"Hello?" I said softly

"Bella! Thank god I was able to reach you. I love you too, please don't leave." Jake sputtered out

"Jake, I thought you- " I was confused "You left me with the Cullen's"

"Yes, I know but I was-" he began, but Edward got back in the car

"Who is on the phone love?" Edward asked

"It's Jacob," I mouthed

"Bella, please you must listen to me, I want you to understand. I need to talk to you-"

"Jake, it's okay. Edward explained everything to me and I understand."

"What are you talking about?" Jake said

"I know you feel that I can't be trusted with Gavin, but I'm working on it. I know you don't want me, as I am now-"

"No, Bella sto-"

"Jake let me finish." I insisted, "Our vows were till death. I'm dead. Please find happiness with someone who will be a better mother to Gavin than me, a leech" I sobbed as I spoke the last word and I saw Edward flinch, but he took the phone from me and spoke to Jake

"What did you tell her?" I could hear Jake demand

"Only the truth Jacob Black."

"Damn you! I want her bac-" Jake said as Edward closed the phone

"He was just ranting love." Edward said softly as he touched my collarbone

"I don't want to talk about it anymore." And that seemed to close the subject. I sat back and watched the miles just fly by.


	28. Chapter 28

We made our way to the Cullen's home in Alaska. I watched Edward pull the bags from the trunk. He was watching me too.

"Bella, I know that-" Edward began

"Please Edward. I don't want to talk right now." I said solemnly and followed him into the house.

He watched me nervously as he showed me around the house. Finally we got to the guest bedroom.

"This is your room Bella." Edward said opening the door. I gasped as I took in the interior of the room. It was ice blue in color, from the bedding to the rug that adorned the hardwood floor. "Do you like it?" he hedged

"Why wouldn't I, it is impeccable just like everything else Esme does." I tried to smile but it wouldn't come. I reached out and took my bag from Edward's hand. "Thank you Edward, for everything." I turned, closing the door behind me, shutting him out.

I placed my bag down taking in the room again. It truly was beautiful with the crystal lighting and the silver mirrors. But it felt cold. Like I was now, it reminded me of ice.

I curled up on the bed and began to sob uncontrollably to myself. It wouldn't be easy to just move on with my existence. Not without Jacob or Gavin, They had been my whole world. Now my world was empty and I had to continue on without them. How could I live without my sun? I continued to ponder my situation. Time meant nothing. It was nonexistent to me.

I was brought out of my trance by a knock at the door. A voice on the other side called out my name, but I didn't have the strength to respond.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, "Please answer me."

I heard the door open, and I heard an audible gasp. "Bella." He said rushing to my side "Have you been like this the whole time?"

"What do you mean?" I croaked

"It's been days Bella. You haven't moved. You haven't hunted-"

"Please just leave me." I said closing my eyes to block out his face

"I won't let you do this Bella! I won't let you wallow in despair."

"Edward." I whispered, " I just can't seem to pull it together." I confessed

"What can I do to help you Bella?" he begged '"just tell me, please."

"Can I call Alice?" I asked

"Certainly. You can call whom ever you want." He said

I slowly sat up, and got to my feet. Edward was by my side and he handed me a silver cell phone.

"Alice is #2," he said as he closed the door behind him

I pressed the number and waited for it to ring. But it didn't even have a chance "Bella!" Alice cried

"Alice" I sighed "I need you."

"What do you need Bella?"

"Have you heard from Jake?" I asked

"Yes" was all she said

"What did he say?" I pressed and noticed the pause in the conversation "Alice? What is it?"

"Jacob and the pack stopped by. They were looking for you."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked cautiously.

"Jacob wanted to talk to you. Carlisle informed him that you and Edward had left together and wouldn't be back for sometime."

"He made it sound like Edward and I were together." I stated, knowing that he wanted Jacob to think I had moved on "Why would he do that?" I questioned

"I don't know Bella." Alice said quietly

"I just can't seem to go on Alice, not without Jake and Gavin."

"Bella, why don't you give him a call."

"He doesn't want-"

"But he does, just trust me Bella." Alice said before hanging up the phone

I pressed the numbers quickly pausing at the final number. I could push the last button and hear Jake's voice. But why would I want to do that? It would just prolong my suffering. He didn't want me anymore. I needed to get over this thought that I could go back to my life as it was. After all, I was no longer alive. The sooner I accepted that the better.

I closed the phone, setting it on the nightstand. I was a vampire now, and forever. I would move on and try to forget, the pain.

I opened the door to my room and went to find Edward. I would need for him to understand me, and accept me as I was now. He really didn't know the real me, or at least the me I had become.

I found him at his piano, he was playing my lullaby. I reached out a hand and caressed his neck. His head seemed to bend to my touch.

"Oh Bella." He said softly

"Edward, I need your help." I said, as he turned around to see me

"I can try," he said cautiously

"I want you to help me accept my new existence so I can move on."

"What are you saying Bella?" his eyes nervously scanned mine

"If you will have me, I would like to move on with you Edward." I said quietly turning my eyes away "I've always loved you Edward, and when you left-"

"Shhh-Shhh, Bella my love." He kissed the top of my head "That is all in the past. I never meant to hurt you." He confessed

"I know Edward." I sobbed dryly as I placed my hand on his cheek

I hesitantly moved closer to him, and soon my lips were against his. I began to kiss him, and he began kissing me in return.

It was better than I could have ever imagined as his tongue begged for entrance into my mouth. I accepted him happily. He had never kissed me so intensely before.

I pulled away, abruptly. "Oh Edward!" I breathed a bit strained

"Bella." He said as he pulled me to him "Will you be mine? Will you stay with me forever?"

"Edward, I have nothing but forever." I smiled

"Bella Cullen" he breathed "That always did have a nice sound to it."

He began kissing my neck, and I felt his teeth graze my neck and I shuddered involuntarily. He continued his sweet caressing. It felt amazing.

"Edward" I managed "I can't do this." I pulled away slightly

"But, I love you Bella" he continued to kiss me "I want you, I always have." He looked into my eyes melting me.

"Then take me, Edward." I said letting my desires take over "I want you inside of me."

I felt Edward, pulling my clothes off. I closed my eyes and let him discover my body. He kissed each breast in turn. Sliding down to my slick wet folds. He placed a kiss on my mound and pulled away.

"I had wanted to be your first. I never wanted anyone to touch you." He growled

"My life went on without you Edward. I couldn't wait forever." I whispered into his ear, as I pulled off the last of his clothes.

I ran my hand down to his penis. It quivered at my touch, as he moaned my name.

Was I really going to do this? The only man I had been with was my husband. But he no longer wanted me how I was.

I rubbed his erection against my mound, guiding him towards my entrance. I wasn't sure if he was still a virgin, but at this point I didn't care.

I had an emptiness that needed to be filled. I felt him probe me with is tip gently. I felt light pushes at my entrance, which drove me crazy. I pulled my leg around him drawing him into me.

As I enveloped his shaft he let out a moan of pleasure.

"God Bella, you feel so good around me." He said as he pulled out and drove himself instinctively back inside. He picked up a rhythm and thrust himself deep inside of me. Deeper then ever, He reached parts of me I never knew existed. This was better than I ever could have imagined.

I kept my eyes closed, just focusing on the pleasure I was receiving from him soon coming to my completion. With a few more thrusts he climaxed calling out my name in pleasure. Falling on top of me. Suddenly he looked at me and quickly withdrew from my core.

"Oh God Bella, I am so sorry. I can't believe I just did that to you."

"Edward." I pulled his face to look at mine. He seemed ashamed, and that pained me. "Edward, we love each other. What we did was natural. An expression of our love for each other."

"But I took advantag-" he began

"No, Edward. Never think that. We did this together, willingly. You have taken me, and I you. Now we belong together forever, you are my mate." I said kissing his lips gently

"I just don't want you to ever regret, this my love," he said

"You are my future Edward."

"I love you Bella," he said pulling me to his chest

"I love you Edward, always and forever."

We lay in each other arms until the phone ringing release us from the magic of the moment. I jumped up pulling on my shirt as Edward reached for the phone.

"Hello?" Edward said

I heard Carlisle on the other side and I moved over to Edward, touching his face. "I'm going to take a shower, hurry up and join me," I breathed teasingly into his ear

"What is it Carlisle?" Edward said distracted

"Everything will be fine Carlisle. Bella is acclimating well to her new existence." He smiled

"That no longer matters Carlisle, Bella and I are mated now. I will never let her go!" he said and hung up rushing to me in the shower

"Anything wrong?" I asked him as I waited for the water to heat up

"Nothing that cant be rectified" he said, pushing me into the shower and began a new round of kisses all over my body.

"Oh Edward!" I cried

"I'm going to want to hear a lot more of that," he teased

"Yes Edwar-"was all I managed as he pressed his mouth to mine, enveloping me into a deep kiss. My mind disappeared and I once again listened to my body.


	29. Chapter 29

Now that I was a vampire, it seemed that Edward and I where able to pick up almost where our relationship had stopped. Because of our differences, we never had a sexual relationship. But now it was possible. He couldn't seem to get enough of me. Edward was constantly by my side where ever we went, whenever we hunted. It was almost as if he were trying to protect me still, or keep me safe for some reason.

It had been a while since I brought up going home to join the others. The last time I mentioned it Edward had become upset at the thought. He told me I wasn't ready to be around humans yet. So I had no other choice but to drop my request.

Sure I still thought about Jake and especially Gavin, but I moved away from those thoughts that would pull me back to the past. I needed to see others than just Edward. Not that I didn't care for him, but to see Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme would really help me move on even more. To know that even after everything I had lost, that I still had people who loved and cared about me.

"Edward?" I asked as we were out for a walk.

"Yes Bella." He said as he kissed my hand

"I think it's time we left this place." I said and looked into his eyes

"I don't think-" he began

"Please don't give me that I'm not ready. Edward, so far I have had almost perfect control. I need to see Alice, and the rest of the family."

He watched me with a hesitant expression "Bella, I don't-" he began

"You wont lose me Edward." I said in hopes of reassuring him

"I'm not sure I want to take the risk," he confessed

"Edward, I need them," I said in a sad tone

I watched him think about my request and subsequent pleading.

"Bella, I hate to see you miserable. If going home will please you, we'll go"

"Thank you!" I said as I flung my arms around his neck "Thank You!" I cried out as he let out a chuckle to my reaction

At that moment his cell phone rang and there was no need to ask who it was. I knew it would be Alice. She would have seen this already.

As Edward answered the phone I could hear Alice's happy chirp on the other end of the line.

"I have everything ready for you when you arrive. You'll drive of course, and we'll see you in a couple of days!"

I laughed as Edward rolled his eyes. I was practically jumping up and down like a child, I was so excited.

"Come on!" Edward said as we raced back towards the house.

We were packed and ready to go within the hour and I was thankful once again that Edward was unable to read my thoughts.

If he could he would not allow me to travel home. In addition to seeing my vampire family, I had every intention of seeing my son. He might suspect that I would want to, but I gave no indication of that desire.

I hated feeling like I was betraying his trust, but I needed this. To be complete, I needed to see Gavin.

We arrived in Forks early in the morning on a cloudy day. The family greeted us at the door, and hugs were shared by all. Even Rosalie appeared to have missed me.

Alice took in my appearance and shook her head. "Bella, Bella! What am I going to do with you"?

I just looked at her and smiled "I've missed you so much Alice!" I hugged her again

"Well, you are lucky that I've just picked you up some new things. Come up to my room, and we'll find you something." She said taking my hand from Edward and leading me up the stairs.

"Jasper, please take Emmett and Edward out hunting with you so we can have some girl time."

And we turned to go to Alice's room. I turned to notice that Edward seemed hesitant to leave me, but I smiled and waved "Go on Edward, it's been a long time since you've seen your brothers. I'll be fine here with Alice and the girls." He nodded and left

When we got to Alice's room, she turned and spoke. "Bella, I'm not exactly sure what you are planning to do."

Oh god! She knew that I was going to try and see my son, she must. What was I going to do now? My plan had been discovered. I couldn't bluff anymore. "Alice, I-"

"Bella let me finish." She interrupted "I never thought it was right of him keeping you from them. Especially when Jacob was going to try and work everything out."

I stared at her open mouthed "What are you saying Alice?" I had to sit down

"Bella, I love my brother, and I know you love him too but sometimes, he doesn't think things through to the end." She let go of my hand "Bella, I see your future disappear"

I was sobbing; I knew what she was saying. "Thank you Alice. For being the only one who was honest with me"

I turned to leave. "Bella?" she said and I turned. She tossed something at me, and I realized what it was. It was the keys to her Porsche.

"Thanks" I said and took off for LaPush

I drove at a reasonable speed and made my way there in 15 minutes. As I crossed the boundary line, I realized wolves were following me.

I stopped the car and looked out at the wolves, it was Sam, Quill and Embry. Would they kill me? Before I had a chance to see my son? I had to take a chance.

I stepped out of the car and they approached quickly. Sam let out a loud howl, and I heard a howl in response from the distance.

The wolves kept me surrounded, and soon another one joined their ranks. It was my red brown wolf. I cried out in happiness. "Jake!" I screamed and rushed towards him. The other wolves cut me off.

"Sorry" I said as they growled at me. "I shouldn't have come." I said turning back towards the car

"Bella" I husky voice called, a voice I recognized as Jake's

I turned and felt his arms pull me into him. I had no urges to attack him, and he still smelled the same as ever to me. I heard him breath me in, and realized I must not smell too bad.

"Bella" he breathed, "Please forgive me" pulling me tightly to him

"Jake I-" he cut me off as his lips crashed onto mine. The warmth of his lips against my cool ones, felt wonderful.

I pulled away, and looked into his eyes. "Bella, that last day I spoke to you on the phone and you told me you knew what I was going to say. Do you remember?"

"Yes" I said simply

"Well, I was going to ask you to stay, to stay with Gavin and me. I had a long talk with Billy about my Mom, and I realized I couldn't let you go. Ever"

"You what?" I said shocked

"I want you to stay with me. You're my wife, my imprint Bella and I will not let you go."

"But I'm a leech" I said

"Don't call yourself that. I'm sorry I ever used the term. I asked them to save you, what you are is my fault. Because I couldn't let you go."

"So Edward lied to me," I stated as I pulled away "He told me you wouldn't want me this way."

"I told Carlisle of my intentions to work this out. But the next day, you and him had left."

"Edward got a phone call from Carlisle that day, he said he thought it would be best if we left sooner rather than later. We left that very night." I said, "They all lied to me"

I placed his arm around me, and I pulled my self to him. To my husband Jake. "Do you have a cell phone?" I asked and noticed him smirk at me

"What?" I asked confused

"Bella, I was out patrolling when Sam 'called' I'm not wearing-" and I looked down and gasped. He was naked of course and I looked away

He laughed at my reaction. "The last time I checked Mrs. Black, you had seen this all before" he smiled

I looked at him with a pained expression and he stopped laughing. I pulled away and headed back to the car

"Bella? What is it? What's wrong?" He asked nervously

"Jake, I've betrayed you." I choked out

"What do you mean? You could never have-" and he stopped, he understood "Oh" was all he said as comprehension set in

"You and Edward? Was this right away or did you at least wait a week?" he sneered

I nodded my head as I sobbed tearlessly. "He told me, I was dead and that you wouldn't want me because of what I was. I was depressed for so long. I only went out to hunt. I thought that the sooner I mastered hunting the sooner I could return…to you. But he…oh, Jake he lied to me. He took advantage of me. I only gave myself to him for the first and only time recently, once i realized..."

I looked into Jake's pained eyes, and I saw anger there. This was a horrid idea; I never should have come back.

"This was a mistake," I cried and I turned to leave "I should never have come"

"Wait Bella" he said softly and I stopped "Please come home with me, come see Gavin. He'll be asleep now, but-"

"Yes please" I said happily and we got into the car and drove to the home I shared with Jake.

We got out and I hesitantly made my way up the stairs. He nodded, and I saw the living room light on, Billy was there. I looked at Jake cautiously "My dad's been staying with us, he's been a great help with Gavin."

"Bella" Billy said and he smiled softly to me as he rolled himself into the guest bedroom that now had become his own.

I went up the stairs softly and peered into Gavin's room. I fell silently to my knees and looked upon my angel. He looked so peaceful asleep, I just wanted to rush in and hold him to me, but I knew I couldn't.

I managed to get up, and felt Jake's hand on my shoulder. "Come on Bella" he said as he led me back to our bedroom. I watched as he slipped on a pair of sweats. I sat on the edge of the bed and thought.

"You saved him, you know that."

"What?"

"You saved Gavin when you sacrificed yourself" Jake began to cry, "Oh Bella, I dreamed of you returning to me. I love you so very much." He kissed me again, as i felt his hands caress my body. I pulled away, before this went any further there was something i needed to know.

"Gavin thinks I'm dead?"

"Yes"

"I need to leave Jake, he can't see me. I've got to go!"

"Please, Bella. Just stay the night at least." As he wrapped his arms around me, I cuddled up next to him on the bed, and he held me until he fell asleep. I pulled myself away from him and kissed his lips softly

"Goodbye my Jacob"

I headed downstairs, and picked up the phone. I called the last person, I would have ever expected. I made plans to meet within the hour at the cliffs above the ocean.

"You can't do this" Billy's voice broke into the silence

"I have to" was all I could say

"No, you don't Bella. You have options."

"What would that be? To stay here, and confuse my poor child who thinks I'm already dead." I shook my head "I can't do that Billy."

"But you love my son and grandson." He pleaded

"I love them enough to leave them. They will find their peace in this. It's the way things ought to be."

"The way they ought to be? You should be here with Jake, and your son. You should be having your second child with Jake. The baby you were carrying. That's how it ought to be."

I held my stomach at the remembrance of the child I would never know. The child that had died the day I did. I felt the sadness well up within me.

"Billy, if I could turn back the clock I would. But I can't…"

"Don't do this Bella"

I turned away from Billy and left out the door. I went back to the car and drove to the cliff. I pulled out the cell phone that was in the car, and dialed the Cullen's.

I had hoped for Alice to answer, but I was pulled back into reality when Carlisle answered

"Hello?" he said anxiously

"How could you not tell me Carlisle?" I sobbed, "My husband wanted me back! You and Edward lied to me!"

"Bella, I never meant to cause any harm"

"You caused more than harm Carlisle. I gave my life for my son, and Edward gave me another one. You both lied to me. You knew that Jake wanted to see me, wanted to work things out. But you and Edward took my choices away from me. Edward gave me another life, but that never entitled him to manipulate that life for me to be what he wanted."

"I'm sorry. Where are you? Edward is looking for-" he stammered

"I'm giving back the gift Edward gave me." I said and hung up the phone

I stepped out of the car and saw him waiting by the cliff. The dark grey wolf, the only one of the pack that would help me.

"Hello Paul" I said as I stepped closer to him

I watched as he snarled and bared his teeth at me.

"Please make it quick" I said placing myself closer, and closer

"STOP!" Jake called out as he came towards me.

"Do it Paul!" I demanded as the wolf approached

"Please Bella, don't do this" Jake cried as he wrapped his arms around me

"I have to"

"No, you have options"

"Jake, please just leave me. Let Paul save me from this existence, because I can't call it a life when you and Gavin aren't in it."

"Bella" Edward's voice called out of the forest "Please come back to me."

"Edward, I can't, not when I know what you've done"

"I only wanted you, that's all I've ever wanted." he insisted

"You never gave me the option of anything else!" I cried, "My husband wanted me! He wanted me and now it's too late. My son thinks I'm dead! I have nothing to exist for now"

"Bella! I still want you." Jake said, "We can work everything out, I'll tell Gavin you're back."

"What will you tell him when I don't age? When he's 20 and we practically look the same age? What would you tell him then when he's a wolf like you because I'm here? I want better for my son. I want him to not carry the burden that is yours and the other members of the tribe. I want him to fall in love and not worry that his love will be taken away, because he imprints on another girl!"

"Paul don't you dare kill her!" Jake yelled as he moved closer to me

But the wolf just growled. I backed away from Jake and Edward. They both had looks of concern on their faces.

"I love you, my dear Jacob, you were my life and now that will carry on in Gavin. How I wished for more children with you. You brought the sun back into my life, and I survived on your love for me and our family."

"Edward, you know how I feel about you. But I cannot continue existing knowing you betrayed me. Tell Alice goodbye for me"

With those final words I charged at the grey wolf and the darkness enveloped me forever.


End file.
